Maybe Some People are Just Born to Write and not to be Written
For once i’d like to be the poem and not the poet
The moonlight streaming over the desk exposes a plethora of stories I have written. Each and every one of them was an ardent plea for connection, a love letter, a sonnet of longing. I’ve played the role of the invisible hand at times, guiding folks to their soul mates and conjuring up visions of sunshine-filled mornings and shared giggles. My words have become the link, the spark that starts a lifelong flame in the hearts of people who are unsure.
Despite this, there’s a weird feeling of loneliness in the spaces between the episodes. And at the end of the evening, the one in charge of writing happily-ever-afters often finds himself alone. I want to be the poem instead of the poet. Be carried away by the stream of feelings, to be swept away by the tide of emotions; to experience the thrilling rush of reciprocated love and the bittersweet sting of loss. I have never in my entire life really lived these sensations; instead, I have only ever held them in the distance while translating them for other people.
I’m just whispering something to myself in the back of my mind, not complaining. This might be interpreted as a message that my purpose is to create rather than consume. Perhaps the joy I experience comes from witnessing love develop before my very eyes, rather than from actually experiencing it. There might also be a more complex narrative at play here. The universe, the ultimate author, might have already penned a different tale for me.
I sometimes think of the silence in my own life as a blank page waiting to be filled with the most beautiful song. It is possible that God utilises the loneliness and the yearning as the very ink to write a love story that is unmatched. A sliver of hope ignites in that quiet acceptance. It’s possible that the love tale I write isn’t the best; rather, it’s the one that’s being written for me — with the most exquisite language, at the perfect time. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be written, but rather to write a completely new kind of love story, where the world becomes the poet and my life becomes the greatest love poem ever written.
© Shuvranil Sanyal, 2024
