Beyond Stress: Returning to Self
A story of a cancer patient’s union with self
When my patient — Em — was diagnosed with cancer, he did not seem much shaken upon breaking the news. Yes, there was a sense of sadness and imminent fatigue; but his reaction was unusual — like he anticipated this happening. Occasionally, it takes time to process information and feelings, so I chose to let him be.
On his second chemotherapy visit after the routine had set in, I inquired more deeply about his feelings. “This might be the best thing that has happened to me”, he replied. Surprisingly, not many patients label painful experiences as their potential best moments. Especially not when there is a needle stuck to their arm to receive therapy known for uncertain treatment outcomes but certain life-altering side-effects.
During early counseling sessions, Em described his life as a quintessential working man living a fast-paced, responsibility-laden life. As a young adult, he dreamed of making it big and so, he worked hard to build a stable cash flow. The thrill of achieving his dream life made him chase opportunities that although rewarded him financially, became energy-draining. As his forties hit, he wished to decelerate the pace of his life or swap it for a peaceful quaint life. But no longer than the carrot of another financially attractive opportunity presented before him, he grabbed it instantly, denying his alter-ego’s call. Two years in the new role, he sensed apathy creeping in but couldn’t comprehend its meaning, and decided to push harder.
Until a few months earlier, when he was diagnosed with cancer.
“I had forgotten myself and snubbed my intuition. Upon hearing of my cancer, I could finally unburden myself of the need to work harder. This opportunity gives me no option but to slow down and reflect — a valid excuse to get back to understanding what went wrong.”
We initiated helping him through self-reflection and self-navigation. As he progressed, he became more aware of his inner state — a term called ‘interoception’.
Em was already aware of his uncomfortable feelings of ‘something wrong is happening’ — and he finally was ready to listen to it intently.
Through Mindfulness exercises, he developed an ability to experience his inner state and process his struggle and emotions meaningfully. “I felt more fearful then than now. I would go in my head — what if I took a break and lost all this momentum?”
By engaging with self and others mindfully, he came closer to better evaluating the meaning of the circumstance and changing his beliefs.
“I personalized achievements and emotions associated with my work to the point of denying myself of my ‘True’ self. I feel hopeful, grateful, and renewed in this process.”
Along the course, Em kept on responding thoughtfully to his emotional reactions even to his life’s great challenge of being a cancer patient. But he approached with sheer kindness and compassion towards himself without rushing it.
Em’s exemplary journey highlights how when one starts aligning with oneself, a crisis doesn’t shake one up but serves as an opportunity. As they say, “ Never let a good crisis go to waste”.
