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Monogamy Isn’t About “The One” — It’s About Making Someone “The One”
Love isn’t a feeling that stays forever. It’s a choice you make, again and again, no matter what.
I used to be a believer in “the one.” When things were hard in our relationship, I wasn’t just battling the obstacles. I was battling my belief in fate. If love isn’t meant to be, if I didn’t have that one person meant for me, what would that even matter?
But finding and making your contingent, your forever person, isn’t about fate. It is about commitment. Monogamy is about choosing the same person over and over, and recognizing that they won’t be perfect for you or your life all the time.
Some people might say that if there aren’t cosmic forces pulling us towards one person over another, what’s the point of limiting yourself? Why wouldn’t you see how and where far you could go?
But then I think about it differently. Love is not about finding someone who is perfectly compatible for you at any given moment. It is about building a life with someone, meeting them through all of the colors the seasons bring, and whether you still choose them.
It is about building on your shared history with that person and then in the end, how uniquely meaningful it becomes, the further…
