My Parents got Divorced after 30 Years of Marriage
It feels strange.
Why do unhappy couples settle for a miserable life together instead of working their issues out? If those issues can’t be worked out, why don’t they just… separate?
These are the questions we ask when we’re kids. We watch adults arguing over every little thing and we feel confused. When we pop the question, 9 out of 10 adults will say to us, “It’s a little more complicated than that, kiddo.”
My mom used to say it’s complicated. She claimed she couldn’t divorce dad because if she did, what would she do? Where would she go? She would rather suffer for the sake of having some security and a sense of control over her life than divorce and experience the vast unknown. Terrible things happen there, in the land of unfamiliarity, she used to say.
It came as a shock to her when she discovered my dad had found somebody else. Yes, he was technically having an affair as they were still married, but he and mom haven’t slept together in over 12 years. They haven’t gone out for dinner or did anything fun together in over 15 years. They haven’t actually kissed in probably 20 years. As for actually being happy together, I’m not sure that ever happened in those 30 years of marriage. Oh dear, they were such a mismatch from the very beginning!
