Dark Poetry

My Psychiatrist Victim Blamed Me

TW: Self-harm, Survivorship, Trauma, Victim Blaming

Black background. Grey text is at the bottom of the screen: “My Psychiatrist Victim Blamed Me”. There are three grey arrows pointing towards the text. Image by author via Canva.

Don’t blame abusers
Chide the weaker of bodies
Children are at fault

Clenching jaw and fists
Hands raising toward the skull
The release unfelt

Reaping what you sowed
A life-long trauma to bear
Always without worth

I disclosed I was a survivor to my psychiatrist two years ago. After starting trauma therapy. Since then our relationship has changed for the worse. She has done nothing but question my progress, insult my therapist, and try to counsel me [which she doesn’t have the training to do]. She even attempted to tell me why people commit sexual assault. Which was essentially, “Women are weak”.* I was an advocate for interpersonal violence survivors as well as sex trafficking survivors, in my twenties. I can assure you, she’s wrong. What happened to me wasn’t because I was a weak four-year-old. It was because these people all made the active decision to hurt me.

I have cried many times after our meetings. My therapy sessions before and after our appointments are dedicated to her or she is at least…