Nostalgia in the Embrace of Emptiness
Just feelings of being unsure
In the labyrinth of uncertainty, I wander once more,
Not in desperation’s grasp,
Yet uncertainty befalls, a crossroads unmarked,
Life suspended until it abruptly resumes.
Desires tug at me, needs beckon,
Yet, I am an emptiness personified.
My mind, a sporadic tapestry,
Moments devoid of stimulation, chaos absent,
A detachment from those beyond my intimate sphere,
Should I linger, stretch myself thin for frail connections?
Webs woven, a nest crafted,
Emptiness masked by the softness of stuffed companions.
Antidepressants abandoned, a vacant chasm emerges,
Is this the gnawing ache of depression,
Or a mere apathy toward the orbiting others?
Is it amiss to harbor such sentiments?
Love weaves its tendrils at home,
Feline snuggles, a balm for the hollow.
Moonbeam’s radiance bathes me in perceived love,
Cat’s warmth and purrs, a semblance of completeness,
Yet, a lingering void persists,
Am I overlooking something, am I fractured?
Antidepressants or not,
The void remains, a emptiness profound.
Within, a void akin to a black hole’s gravity,
An odd comfort, nostalgic in its familiarity.
Though yearning for completeness,
The emptiness, more defined in the absence of antidepressant shield
Poems birthed, words cascading like nonsensical rain,
Keyboards weathered by my incessant writing.
Moments of self-inflicted alteration,
Filling my vessel with an ephemeral sense of wholeness,
Briefly acquainted with a sensation,
Post-confusion haunts me, questioning the wrongness.
As I languish, a silent observer of storms.
Chaos amplifies, a palpable disarray,
The fear of faltering, a relentless companion,
Is this me, or the unseen affliction consuming,
Is there a distinction?
Without medication, adrift and solitary,
I fade into unspoken words, a trail that leads to the unknown.
