One Step At A Time
It’s been more than a month since I posted anything on KTHT. I kept wondering why. Thoughts had been troubling me but the words were not finding the way.
And then I came across this prompt from Diana.
Homesick for self. So perfectly expressed. For last few years I know I have been lost. It took me a while to accept it. I kept thinking that the troubles that were plaguing me were just superficial. But as the time passed, I knew that this wasn’t the case. It required inner work.
After the acceptance I thought, I just needed to find the path to help me reach home. But the journey has been painfully slow. Just when I think I am near the highway, I realize that the last turn I took was a wrong one. I need to trace my steps back and re route to be back on track.
I am still trying to find the pebbles in the moonlight. But I have to remember that these pebbles should be the ones that are true to me and not for some other lost soul. So often I get inspired by the journey of the fellow lost travelers, that I have chosen the path not meant for me. Sometimes I have taken a shortcut even after being fully aware that shortcuts never lead where there should.
But the most difficult part of this entire journey has been keeping faith and patience. It’s hard to not check for assurance from others or from the universe that you are on your way back. But when it is dark, those signs are hard to find. And it is in those times, you need to amplify your own inner voice and listen to it through the noise.
Seek help to find path but finally recognize that only you know what is best for you. Stop asking yourself like a toddler about when you will reach home. Enjoy the scent of the earth and flowers along the path. Embrace the bleeds due to the thorn that may pierce you on the way. Rest every now and then. Look up at the sky to see the millions of stars that are watching and encouraging you.
I am still far off. I don’t see my home yet. But I am not standing on my toes to spot it any more. I am looking at my footsteps, one step in front of the other.
