Perfectionism Is Never Perfect
Trying to be perfect is flawed
‘Just go with the flow.’
‘Cut corners and we will finish it.’
‘Hurry up! There’s no time left.’
These phrases get on my nerves every now and then.
I felt extremely irritated when I was told to finish something that I was about to decorate a little bit more.
I can’t stop thinking about something that I did when I was not in the right mood.
I have never appreciated something good as I think it could be better.
I’m a pathetic perfectionist.
Perfectionists and Their Lonely Planet
Perfectionists seem to see the world from a different angle, and they have their own approaches towards all the things happening to them.
It’s hard for them to accept the world in its flawed state. No matter what they achieve, they always feel the lack of something. They see the world as incomplete pieces while the world sees them as insane.
Their extreme perspectives set them apart from the typical way everything should happen.
I’m looking back at myself, what I got and what I lost.
I want to remind my perfectionist self that this world is always beautifully imperfect.
If you’re also a perfectionist, I know that it’s hard to accept something less than perfect and face the ugly sides. But today is a day to wear our heart on our sleeve.
Strive for the best…
They can burn the midnight oil every day to get their work done. Challenges have never put them in a tough spot because their ambition is overwhelming. They expect nothing less than great achievements and recognitions. They want to bring out the best of the best to themselves and where they work.
Perfectionism pushes them to become more creative and become a better version. They only leave the office when they complete all the assignments.
Time pressure will never be blamed for recklessness. If they have some extra time, they won’t take a rest but still work to make sure that they did a great job.
…and sacrifice the best
What can be more valuable than time? Perfectionists easily lose work-life balance as they sacrifice their leisure time and family time for work time. They are always busy with incomplete tasks at weekends.
On the other hand, perfectionism drowns them in the pool of their own rules, so they fail to follow other rules. When it is ‘acceptable’ to make some mistakes to prioritize time, they keep their ‘habit of sacrificing time.’
From the employer’s perspective, a perfectionist is never a good employer no matter how hard they try. They are stubborn sticking to their own rules that hurt the progress.
“Perfection is the enemy of progress.” - Winston Churchill
Pay attention to details...
Many people praise perfectionists for their carefulness and great attention. They have the ability to detect the smallest mistakes and pay attention to every single detail. In that way, perfectionists are usually linked to well-rounded individuals who discover things that others may ignore.
‘Detail-oriented’ really helps me to identify something wrong from my drafts or from my students and fix the issues promptly.
Paying attention to details also means the ability to understand the feelings of other people even when they don’t reveal. Sometimes, I feel like I have sixth sense that I can realize some changes in my friends’ behaviors or remember some stories that I was told long ago.
…and get annoyed by details
Their interests in the smallest things actually cause troubles after making impressions. As they’re constantly attracted with details, they find flaws and easily get disappointed.
Even when they say it’s okay, messy thoughts attack their minds. They can’t let go of imperfect things easily while struggling to break the fragile perfect wall.
Going shopping is a real battle for me as it seems to take forever in the mall. It will start with the designs, functions and of course, the price before I put any item into the cart. I never choose the first one. Whenever I pick up a thing, details ‘bombard’ my eyes and my mind.
And not only do details make me irritated about people and things, they also make people around me irritated the same way. They blamed me for being grumpy all the time, and my relationships have to suffer. No one wishes to be seen with their mistakes.
Think carefully...
As mistakes are their forever enemy, perfectionists think more than twice whenever they have to make a decision. They don’t want to make an excuse for recklessness. They are not manipulated by other’s thoughts as they know no one else can fulfill their life better than themselves.
They never let adversities force them to become a worse version. When others direct them to the way other than what they expect, they never follow unquestioningly though their options are not ample. Keeping a level head in bad situations keeps them away from sugar-coated words.
Perfectionists try not to be deceived and become miserable, so they rely on scrutiny to protect their easily hurt egos.
…and procrastinate
It’s not a single time that those who surround perfectionists blame them for procrastination. They think too carefully and too long that they put off actions. They annoy their colleagues, slow down projects and fall from grace.
The way they hate mistakes is the same as the way opportunities hate them. When opportunities knock, perfectionists are too busy with their thoughts that they forget to answer.
There’s always something to regret. If they do not regret not making mistakes, they regret missing opportunities. As opportunities come along with risks and uncertainties, they repeat the circle of regrets from time to time.
Never stop trying...
As their definition of success is synonymous with perfection, they are willing to go the extra mile to find any better option than what they have done. They are strict to themselves. That means past achievements fail to make them rest on their laurels.
Once they reach one target, they aim to reach more challenging targets. Ambitions keep smoldering in their souls, leading them to correct any imperfect details. After reaching the finishing line, they prepare for the next round.
Hard work combined with an eager-to-learn spirit guarantees a great opportunity for promotion and long-term impressions.
Some days before the end of last year, I got a job offer from my former manager though I didn’t work long for that company, just around eight months. I was totally surprised when he reached out to me and offered me a position at his start-up.
I didn’t even think he still remembered me. Surprisingly, he said he was impressed with my efforts towards work though I have never thought I did well at that time.
…and depressed by unmet goals
Bosses wish their staff to become better than they were yesterday. Perfectionists prove that they are competitive employees who try to satisfy their bosses with impressive outcomes until they realize that they just can’t come up with any better ideas.
They start to feel tense and discouraged. They get ashamed when their imperfection is revealed, and in most cases, they choose to leave the job.
This is the reason why I can’t stay long at a company though I have never been complained about my performance. I feel terrible as hell when my work was worse than before.
I am my demanding boss who tries to bury myself in guilt, depression and torment.
Perhaps I use up energy and enthusiasm all along, so I can’t gain momentum in the long run, like a burning candle that burns so fast and ends so fast.
Trying to impress with amazing performance without any long-term strategies leads to burn-out.
The best version to be loved...
They seek admiration and respect from others. That’s why they try to polish their image inside and out. It’s hard to see a perfectionist act without consideration.
They are also willing to help at any cost. Their friends can relate to them when things get worse and nobody else may help. Even if the situation is beyond their capability, they hardly refuse to help.
It does not matter what they will get back in return as they are already satisfied when they have accomplished something.
…and the too-good-to-be-true version
Being too helpful sometimes drains perfectionists. They tend to work until exhausted as they try to get to the bottom of problems. Actually, they protect the wall of perfectionism rather than help others.
In teamwork, collaboration is a real challenge for perfectionists as they are never happy with what others do. To them, doing all by themselves is even much better than correcting others’ work. That’s how they often do the lion’s share of the work. Perfectionists think that they ‘sacrifice’ for others but this only brings their colleagues down.
They work hard to show their best to everyone and believe that people will love their most beautiful side. In reality, that’s just a beautiful illusion that perfectionists create to protect themselves. Sadly, they won’t receive admiration but isolation.
Perfectionists are also so obsessed with commendation. They hide their true colors, drowning in a make-believe life.
Satisfaction and happiness should be valued instead of perfection.
Thinking that perfection is beautiful will kill truly beautiful things around you, from your work to your relationships. Imperfect scars are meant to step up your game.
I’m learning to paint a beautifully imperfect picture.
