Psychedelics in a Magic Candy Store
And why I want to go back
It’s a sunny spring day, and I decide to meet up with some friends in our favorite cafe for brunch. I lock the apartment behind me, put on sunglasses, and step outside the door.
Immediately, I feel the warm sun on my skin and smell the fresh air. The birds are singing as the cars are passing by. I’m staring at the sky. Just blue, no clouds in sight. I’m smiling. What a great day!
I start walking down the road. It’s about a five-minute walk to the cafe. I’m a little early, so there’s no need to rush and I take my time. Now and then I stop in front of one of the many shop windows.
It’s my home street, so I’m familiar with all the stores and the owners are happy when they see my face. As I keep strolling down the road, I suddenly see a store I’ve never seen before. It appears to be a candy store and the shop window looks intriguing.
It’s almost like I’m drawn inside. For a brief moment, I try to resist the temptation. I look at my watch. I still have a couple of minutes left, and the cafe is just around the corner. “Why not?”, I say to myself and open the door.
Once I enter the store, I’m blown away. There’s candy everywhere, and not just your regular candy. It’s the type of candy I’ve never seen before. The colors, the smell, and the taste almost seem unreal.
In disbelief, and with a huge smile on my face, I keep walking through the store. There are other people as well and they seem to be delighted too. It’s a happy place.
Suddenly, I see one candy move. At first, I make little of it and think I must be mistaken. I look again. It’s still moving, and other candies start moving too.
I can’t believe my eyes.
“Did you see that?”, I ask the person standing next to me.
“See what?” the old man replies.
“The candy, it’s moving,” I say.
“Why wouldn’t it be moving?” he says with a smile and walks away.
I keep staring at the candy. “This is ridiculous!”, I think before turning around. I need to get out of here.
“First time?”, I hear somebody asking.
I turn around but there’s nobody there. I turn back and start walking towards the exit.
“Hey, you!”somebody screams.
Again, I turn around and can’t see anybody.
“I’m down here”, the voice says. I look down, and, in complete disbelief, I realize that one candy is talking to me. It suddenly has eyes and a mouth and I can even see its body breathing. It is alive.
I’m shocked, almost frozen. Have I completely lost my mind or did a candy just start talking with me? I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Alright, just breathe”, I say to myself. After I open my eyes, I find that the candy is still there, looking at me.
“Are you alright?” it asks.
“No, I’m freaking out. Who are you and why can you talk? What the hell is this place? Where am I?”, I reply.
“This place doesn’t really have a name.”, the candy says, “It just is. You are here, in the Now, and I just am. I can talk because you want me to talk. I’m merely a reflection of you. An illusion, just like you are one too.”
“What are you talking about? Is this place real or am I dreaming? I must be going crazy.”
“This place is as real as the cafe you’re headed to — not real at all. Nothing is real. What do you even mean by real? There’s no such thing as an objective reality, so relax. And yes, you are dreaming. We all are.”, the candy says.
“I don’t understand a word you’re saying. I want to get out of here. Can I get out?”, I ask with a slightly scared voice.
“Of course you can get out of here, but do you want to?” the candy asks.
I take another deep breath, then I look around. Everybody is having a great time. People are talking with candies, candies are moving around in the room and you can just feel the entire store being at peace with itself.
The colors are mind-blowing. I can see things as vividly and clearly as I’ve never seen them before. Little by little I’m able to let go of the fear and joy and curiosity take over.
“Wanna take a walk?” I hear someone say behind me. I turn around and see the same old man as I did earlier.
I agree and he shows me around. He shows me the store which, to me, almost feels like a different world. A better world, a more interesting and meaningful one. No stress, no worries, no fights. Everything seems at ease, just flowing.
“Ah shit. What time is it? I need to get to the cafe, my friends must already be waiting”, I say to the old man. “Time? It’s now, what other time can it be?” he says with a grin on his face.
It’s a world beyond space and time. Things don’t need a label here. They have no name and no form, they just are.
After a while, I completely surrender. I give up any resistance and go with the flow, having the time of my life. I don’t know what this is, or where I am, or why I am here, but, at this point, none of this matters.
I can’t stop smiling and I’m having the time of my life.
After a while, though, the candies stop talking. The colors become normal again and the magic slowly disappears. I realize it’s happening and I try to stop it, but there’s nothing I can do.
“It’s time to go”, the old man says. Somehow, deep inside, I know he’s right, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
I try to inhale the magic one last time, try to absorb what’s been happening here, and I swear to myself that I’ll be coming back.
“Goodbye”, I say before opening the door and stepping back out on the street.
Back outside, I take a deep breath. What just happened?
I’m happy and tired. Worn out by what I just experienced, both mentally and physically. Slowly, I start coming back to reality.
I check my watch. It’s almost 6 pm. I was supposed to meet my friends 6 hours ago. Too late. I’m heading back home.
At home, I call them and try to explain what just happened. While I’m on the phone to tell them my story, I realize how crazy I sound. Have I lost my mind? Of course, they don’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe myself either.
Frustrated, I hang up.
Even though I’m drained and exhausted, I can’t sleep all night. The next morning, I decide to head back to the store. I want to make sure I haven’t lost my mind, make sure it wasn’t just a dream.
“Thank god!”, I say in relief once I see the shop window of the candy store. It’s real. After all, it seems like I haven’t lost my mind yet.
Prepared for everything, I open the door and enter the store.
Immediately, disillusionment hits me.
No talking candies, no vivid colors, no magic. Just a regular candy store.
I’m sad, disappointed, and angry. All of a sudden, the magic is nowhere to be found. Yesterday, this was a different place. Well, technically, it was the same place, just different.
I tasted the sweetest candy of my life. I saw things I wouldn’t believe if I hadn’t seen them with my own eyes. Pure magic. I experienced things that people can’t even imagine in their wildest dreams. I know it is there, somewhere.
Standing in the store, I close my eyes and try to remember what it looked and felt like yesterday. I feel happy at first but, eventually, sadness takes over as I realize I can’t go back. Just like a little kid, I want to go back so badly, but somehow I just can’t. “Am I crazy after all?”, I whisper to myself.
Then, out of nowhere, the old man from yesterday appears again. “No, you’re not crazy. I’ve seen it too, multiple times. It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he says as he lays his arm on my shoulder and smiles.
“Thank god.”, I say, visibly relieved, before I ask him how I can go back.
“Don’t worry.”, he answers, “You can come back here any time. Just realize that by here I don’t mean this store, but I mean the experience and the feeling. It’s not about a certain place. It’s neither something you should search for nor is it something you can find. That is because it is already there, within yourself.”
Although I don’t understand everything, I get the idea. “What about the real world?”, I ask.
“Nothing is real.”, the old man says. “When you tell people what you’ve seen, they’ll think you’re crazy. Many people have experienced the same things as you just did. They will know that you’re not crazy. They’ve seen it too. As Ram Dass says in one of his books:”
To him who has had the experience, no explanation is necessary, to him who has not, none is possible.
After that, the man turns into candy and falls into the box with the other candies.
I leave the store in disbelief — once again.
The rational mind could never comprehend what I just experienced. It’s a different world and suddenly I know that the real world isn’t so real after all. From now on, I am one of those who knows.
“Know what?”, you ask? Well, know it. I, for myself, know it is there. This big something, or rather nothing. Knowing it takes away almost all the meaning of day-to-day life. You realize nothing matters.
It’s a burden and a relief at the same time. And this realization hits you, eventually. After that, you can feel sad because nothing matters, or you can feel happy because nothing matters.
Either way, it doesn’t really matter.
