Resilience and Self-Love: My 20s Unveiled
The Path to Self-Love, Growth, and Resilience
My 20s have been a whirlwind of emotions, characterized by pain, love, growth, and moments of despair.
It’s been an adventure like no other.
While regrets occasionally invade our thoughts, I’ve learned to fully embrace the path I’ve traveled, appreciating the valuable lessons learned from both the highs and lows.
This was the period in which I confronted my greatest fears and unearthed the very core of my true self.
It was a place of immense realizations.
For the most part of that time, I felt utterly broken.
Emotionally shattered, mentally fragile, and physically drained, my 20s were leaving me in pieces.
I struggled with an absence of a clear vision and a sense of purpose that seemed forever elusive. I carried the heavy belief that I was unworthy, not just of life but of my own existence.
Every single day, I’d question the meaning of it all: ‘Is this life?’ Was this the entirety of existence for me?
A relentless loop of disappointment, pain, and unknowingness?
I reached the point of glorifying death. I believed that life would be better off without me and that people, perhaps even my own son, could find a better existence without me.
Without reaching the point of wanting to die, I would not have found the will to live. During those times I truly honed in on finding myself and realizing my purpose.
My determination to not just survive, but to find genuine happiness, outweighed the negative emotions I carried.
On this journey, this is what I learned..
1. Find something to believe in.
When I felt my lowest, one of my best friends told me to pray.
She reminded me to talk to god — so I did. I started praying every day, finding solace and clarity in that practice.
The lesson I learned is this: it’s crucial to find something to believe in, something that can restore your faith in yourself and the world around you.
This doesn’t have to be rooted in religion.
What’s important is that we acknowledge our limitations and find a place to release our fears and worries, granting us the assurance that each day will be okay.
Seek out something that motivates you.
The words we internalize significantly shape our self-perception and the way we approach life. Find something that breathes life into your spirit, providing you with comfort and the hope to keep moving forward.
2. Surround yourself with great people
It is so important to have great people in your corner. Friends, family, and partners are all included.
Surround yourself with those who bring you more peace and less stress.
People who are supportive of who you are and who you are trying to become.
As we journey through life, change is inevitable. The world transforms, and so do the people in it. It’s crucial to be in the company of those who encourage your personal growth and don’t hinder your evolution.
You need people around you who are understanding, who offer grace, and who exude authenticity.
I can’t stress authenticity enough.
Have relationships that don’t leave you in a cloud of doubt or questions. No relationship is perfect but surround yourself with people who have genuine care and love for you.
A level of appreciation that is shown and reciprocated.
3. Find your purpose
Figure out who you are. Who do you desire to be?
Genuinely, who would you like to be?
Become that person.
It is attainable. Whatever goals you have, the person you envision yourself to be, begin working toward figuring it out. There isn’t a rush but starting the process is important.
Time and navigating through life experiences will help you figure it out.
In hindsight, I’ve come to realize the importance of embarking on this journey of self-knowledge sooner rather than later — taking the time to authentically get to know myself.
What I liked, what I dreamt of, and who I wanted to be.
4. Be selfish
It is okay to put yourself first. Your goals, and your priorities.
There are times when it’s not only okay but necessary to place your own needs ahead of others.
I want to elaborate on this but I think is up to you to determine the situations and relationships in your life that demand a degree of self-focus.
5. Truly love yourself
When I think of a life before I liked me, it was one that was poorly lived.
Once I learned to love and appreciate myself, I unlocked a different level of peace. I found a safe space within myself that is one of admiration and pure joy.
I found perfection.
I found perfection in my imperfections.
I acknowledge my flaws as integral to what makes me, and all of us, genuinely perfect.
It is harder to love yourself, genuinely and wholeheartedly.
We tend to be our harshest critics, sternest judges, and least forgiving advocates.
I have learned to give myself grace, to take every day as an opportunity to do better than the last and when I fall short I allow myself the space to stand back up and continue where I left off.
Learn to love you, not just in the social sense (outside of Instagram).
There’s more
So much life we have to live.
Every story is different, presenting a certain uniqueness that enables us the ability to share keys to life that may help others navigate their own journeys.
The goal is to refrain (if we can) from harboring regret but to view every life experience as a valuable opportunity to learn and grow.
I wholeheartedly promise that life is meant to be happily lived to the fullest.
While we may be unable to control the seasons of life that we pass through, we retain the power to shape who we are as we weather these changes.
Embrace the challenges, take heed to the lessons, and live authentically throughout.
From the thoughts of an almost 30-year-old.
-Shei
