FOCUSING ON SELF
Seeing a Life Coach
The third session was an eye-opener — she understands!
She’s onto me. The coach — let’s call her Nelle — she gets me. When the opportunity arose to see a coach, I jumped at it, desperately needing someone to talk to.
Choosing a coach over a psychologist
During our third session, I admitted to Nelle that before coming to her, I had been thinking about going back to the psychologist who helped me when I collapsed the year after my mom passed away. One thing constantly kept me from contacting her. One thought going round and round in my mind.
You see, I know I keep people at a distance. When they come too close, I draw up a wall. I tell people I’m okay, or that I will be. I figuratively close the door on them, and the determination with which I tell them I’m okay, warns them not to pry; not to ask. I do this with everyone.
I also did this with the psychologist all those years ago. When this year I realized I might need help, I found her card and kept it close. I wanted to contact her; needed someone to talk to. She’s kind. Really kind. The one thing that kept me from contacting her is thinking she wouldn’t get through the wall I draw up. It’s a dichotomy. I draw up the wall, not wanting her to come…
