Six Simple Tips To Manage Your Anxiety
Here’s how you can learn to work with your anxiety and not let it cripple you.
Disclaimer: Before I share how I manage my anxiety, let me clarify that I am not a psychologist. What I am about to share are some of my personal experiences. The exact things that worked for me may or may not work for you. But keep working on yourself, and you shall find your calm.
I always have been an anxious person. As a child, I repressed most of my emotions and trauma for the lack of a safe environment. In adulthood, I ignored my mental health. It wasn’t until it became insufferable that I decided to work on it.
As a 30-year-old, I thought I had dealt with most of life’s issues. I had a job with a big corporation. I had travelled and been in long term relationships. I believed I had seen it all, and nothing could break me now. Whatever my childhood trauma, it wasn’t going to affect me anymore. I was feeling invincible, emotionally.
I didn’t realize that dealing with trauma means dealing with it, not just pushing it aside. And so I was caught unaware when it all came back and drove me to the edge. It was like falling into a vacuum. The heaps of unresolved trauma just ruptured my superficial everyday existence. I did not feel invincible anymore, just vulnerable.
In therapy, I realized that the only emotions I could strongly relate to were fear and pain. Fear had become a constant state of mind for me. I feared heights, water, social situations, people, and authority. I feared making mistakes, saying the wrong things, disagreeing with people, saying NO and so on.
My years of anxiety never let me live up to my potential. It only deteriorated my quality of life for so long. To not experience emotions other than fear caused me to miss out on life. I could never be entirely happy or laugh to my heart’s content. I never felt good enough. I was never in charge of my life.
I saw my life slipping away due to depression and anxiety. I knew I needed help but was too scared to ask for it.
When I finally started therapy, I started seeing changes. My confidence is slowly but steadily coming back. I see myself no longer stuck with fight/flight/freeze responses. As I feel my anxiety meter riding up, I start concentrating on my breathing. I remind myself to stay calm and ride out the wave of anxiety. It wasn’t easy in the beginning. But I am gradually getting hold of my life.
Here’s how you can learn to manage anxiety
For people living with anxiety or depression, everything can feel overwhelming. We need to start small, take one step at a time. Just do one thing today — it can be just taking a shower or going on the terrace for some sunlight. Yes, it is difficult, not impossible.
I started incorporating a few small things into my life, and that felt good. I am sure that I can eventually learn to live with my anxiety without it crippling me.
Identifying your emotions
Trauma can sometimes render us incapable of identifying our emotions and feelings. But once you relearn to identify and name your feelings, life will become less overwhelming. Every time I felt overwhelmed, I asked myself -
How am I feeling?
What am I feeling?
Where in my body am I feeling this?
Why am I feeling this?
Once you have answered these questions, you will be able to identify your emotions. Trauma, anxiety makes us emotionally dysregulated. Identifying and naming our feelings and emotions help us regulate them and our responses to them.
Journaling/Writing
Journaling or writing about thoughts I cannot tell others was crucial for me to set up the process of identifying my emotions. I could never put my feelings in words, especially when I wanted to express myself to others or even my therapist. However, writing them down helped me tremendously.
I wrote whatever was on my mind at that moment. It helped me see my raw emotions and put my mind at ease. I could then act on them objectively and in a regulated manner.
Practising mindfulness through meditation
I can not stress enough the benefits of meditation. I know, I know everybody says that. But mostly because it is true. Sitting in a calm place with your eyes closed and your focus inwards helps.
When I started practising meditation, I could not sit for too long. My body would give up quickly. But I was determined to give it a shot, so I continued.
For those 10 or 15 minutes, concentrate on your thoughts. Do not disregard your monkey mind jumping from branch to branch. Acknowledge it and set that thought aside. Come back to your breathing.
Once you find a rhythm to your breathing, your mind will settle down. It won’t come easy, be assured. But the more you do it, the more you would want to continue doing it. Once you start being mindful in these meditation sessions, you will be mindful in your day to day life.
Keeping your body active
Science shows that exercise helps in reducing anxiety and working through depression. The benefits of keeping your body active are many. It keeps your body and mind fit, increases your life expectancy, keeps you away from illness, etc.
You can do all kinds of exercise. Simply walking, running, strength training, yoga, pilates, swimming, anything that moves your body works.
I prefer running and yoga. The balancing poses of yoga not only build strength but also makes you more aware of your body. When you start noticing each movement, your mind-body-soul become one.
Indulging in self-care
Depression and anxiety propagate feelings of unworthiness. We constantly question our choices, our existence. Remember, you are a significant part of this universe. You don’t have to be someone famous or successful. You have to be you.
Self-care lets you be you. It helps you take care of yourself from inside and out. Go out, read a book, indulge in skincare routines, listen to music, dance like no one’s watching, eat that pastry, pamper yourself with a day at the salon, go shopping. The list is endless.
Creating a support system
Most often, a safe space to talk to someone, telling them the chaos of the mind helps people living with anxiety. And when this someone is a loved one, friend or family, it helps make things easier. When there is someone to listen to, you start feeling lighter. You feel assured that things will get better. Not right away, but eventually.
Having a support system in place allows you to reach out. When it becomes too intolerable, you know there is someone you can ask for help. There is someone who understands and does not judge.
Living with anxiety and depression is never easy. It only gets harder as long as we keep giving in to it. I struggled with getting help for 2 years before I could finally start therapy.
Even after that, it is not a cakewalk. It only gets worse before it can get better. Before the sun can rise, there is a long dark night. This journey is difficult, but there is hope.
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