Some People ARE Given More Than They Can Handle
I know we have all heard the expression that God does not give us more than we can handle. It is often misstated. The original talks about not being tempted by more than you can handle. I have always been really bothered by versions of this statement. I do understand that people are attempting to tell you that you are going to get through this. However, and please remember that I am only speaking for myself, statements like this have led to my loss of faith.
When people are trying to console other people and give them strength they tend to say things like this. This concept was also a crisis of faith for my mother. She never lost her faith. I was always proud of her for that but she was never able to fully explain suffering and loss to herself or her four sons. I know that suffering is part of life. The Bible says that too. Does that mean we should not try to be the best person we can? Doesn’t that mean that by being the best person I can be I am avoiding the suffering and lessons that I am here to learn?
Doesn’t that mean that if I succumb to temptation that my faith was not strong enough? If people of strong enough faith are never given more than they can handle, does it mean that everyone deserves what they got? I believe in a kind God. I understand that we face many trials and tests in our lives but if we fail one does that mean that we deserve what happened?
The misquotes of this bothers me even more. I have lost friends to cancer, very painful at the end. I have lost friends to drugs and/or alcohol. I have lost friends and relatives to suicide. I have lost friends to other diseases such as Alzheimer’s disease and dementia. I have had friends lose children. These people were all given more than they can handle. We might contribute to some of these things due to our life style and our choices. The people that often say this type of thing often change to a second statement that bothers me and further created a crisis of faith with my mother. It is part of the plan. I do not see these as necessarily compatible. Was their faith not strong enough or was it part of the plan?
There are people that die of lung cancer that have never smoked a day in their life. There are people that smoke heavily their entire lives that have little more than a cough. There are good people that are taken advantage of because of their kind hearts. There are hard-working people that never get the right break. There are people doing the right thing that ultimately pay with their lives. There are careless and destructive people who die peacefully in their sleep at an elderly age.
I feel the truth is that sometimes bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. That some people are never or rarely tested. Then some people have been given way more than anyone should ever face. I think no matter what these people’s faith is or what they believe that these people are heroes.