Superiority Vs Inferiority- Two sides of the same coin
Are they really different? Or two mirror images blended together?
Scenario 1: “Jake works at an IT company. He has recently been designated with an exciting new responsibility for a challenging assignment. Everyone in his section was hoping to win this opportunity. Jake won it, and deservingly so. He was very excited at first. But with time he started to feel a bit worried about it. Even deep down he started to question his capability to carry on with this assignment. He allowed himself to feel so fragile that he managed to mess up his assignment, and therefore his position in the company.”
Scenario 2: “Charlie works in the abovementioned company. He was rooting for that exciting new assignment too. He is really confident about landing it, overconfident to be honest. He thinks no one else besides him stands a chance. We already know the story that Jake gets it. Charlie doesn’t stop there and accept his superiors’ judgement. Rather blinded by jealousy, he starts to insult Jake and say demeaning things regarding him in front of other colleagues too.”
The stories of two persons we saw above, did either of them seem perfectly normal to you? It didn’t seem to me. What was wrong with the first person, Jake? I think he might be suffering from an inferiority complex. You were thinking that too, right? It will be wise if we don’t mix inferiority complex with our inherent intuition. Now we all have our weak moments, we tend to feel inadequate in some extreme situations, we might even let the fear of failure consume our self-esteem for a short duration. I don’t think that is a major problem. It might even be necessary to make ourselves more humble and open to the path of self-improvement. But the trouble may arise if we allow ourselves to be stuck with this paralyzing fear. Despite being capable of, when we start to think- “No, that’s impossible. I will never be able to do this. I can never do enough to accomplish that.”- that is a matter of concern. We should be able to pull ourselves up of this spiral of self-destructive thoughts.
Now let’s analyze the second scenario for a bit. What was wrong there? Charlie seems a pretty cool guy, confident in his own skin, knows what he wants to do. Well, in our society we usually act all-wise, jump up to label a quiet person who seems a little unsure of things. Probably a lot of us think that there might be some problem with that shy person, he/she would not be good enough for something big because there’s no way they could handle that pressure. Unfortunately, we don’t become all judgemental about an extra-authoritative person. Don’t take this in the wrong way. There is nothing wrong with being assertive and confident, everyone should be confident about his/her capabilities. But when you are not actually happy being where you are and need to devalue others to make yourself feel better, probably you have a superiority complex.
Superiority complex is actually a false sense of confidence when little or no talent, achievement, or success actually exists there. A person with a superiority complex has an exaggerated pretentious image of themselves drawn in his/her mind which not only hinders their own growth, it also creates havoc in others’ life. The reason behind this type of behavior is rooted in the seek of validation of these people. Usually confident people remain quite content with their capabilities and accomplishments, and their peace of mind doesn’t let them hover around the achievements of others. But in the case of people with a superiority complex, they constantly need validation from other people because their sense of self-worth comes from outer sources. And because their peace of mind is based on other people, they have a habit of comparing themselves with others. Their continuous seek of validation forces them to ensure if they are lacking in something or if they are more worthy of some accomplishment than others.
To simplify, the superiority complex is an overstated feeling of self-worth which hides the real feelings of mediocrity. And inferiority complex is an overstated feeling of lack of self-worth or weakness.
But are they really that different from each other? Some theories tell that the sources of superiority complex and inferiority complex are not that different. According to Adler’s theory of individual psychology,
These two complications are tied together- a person who acts superior and held others as less worthy is actually hiding a feeling of inferiority; likewise, some people who have really high aspirations may attempt to hide them by pretending to be modest or even incapable.
According to Freud,
The superiority complex is actually a way to compensate or overcompensate for areas in which we are lacking or failing.
As we can see, it’s a bit of “the chicken and the egg” situation. Superiority complexes are usually formed in reaction to a feeling of inferiority.
Now the burning question, is it possible to get over them? It may sound strange but the inferiority complex may be used positively for a better outcome. It may be used as a driving force to allow us to reform ourselves, solve our problems, and improve our skills. With the help of psychotherapy, meditation, and maintaining journals, it’s possible to work on our minds and gain the confidence to be a better version of ourselves. There is no reason for putting up with an inferiority complex. Surrounding yourself with positive-minded uplifting people and distancing yourself from overly critical, toxic people can create a huge difference if you struggle with people who constantly put you down with particularly not positive words. As for the people who have already gone overboard and have been able to build superiority complex inside them, it is possible for them to learn not to cross the borderline. As long as they find a way of maintaining this just as high self-esteem, they will be alright I suppose.
Let me tell you a story. Well, not a story, it’s my life lesson. I used to be really good at academics when I was in school. I was the class topper, had hobbies like reading and singing, was well-liked among people. When I started varsity though, I got plunged into severe inferiority complex and all my valuable qualities fell apart. How I managed to feel inferior all the time despite having a good academic background, pretty likable personality, and quite advanced cultural preference- that’s a different story, I will write about that some other time. I started getting horrible grades at varsity, was having anxiety attacks & nervous breakdowns frequently leading to hazardous sleeping patterns & fluctuating blood pressure. Everything became so difficult for me that I was forced to build a wall around me and not let anybody in. I barely recognized myself, became completely lifeless and I hated myself during that phase of my life. I even thought I wouldn’t get a job at any decent place although after varsity I managed to enter into a well-known corporate place, probably there was still some ‘me’ left inside me. To my utter surprise, I started doing pretty well and got praises from people regularly. Finally, it occurred to me I should think about some of my choices and steps in life to figure out why on earth I thought I was worthless. I took some space and literally analyzed everything that happened during the last 6–7 years. Quite easily I managed to figure out where all these issues began, how those accelerated and my life got out of my hand. Then I started to distance myself from the toxic people in my life who I realized were only pulling me down and also set myself in motion for working on several skills so that I can take better care of myself. I have focused on my various stronger characteristics and still working on those. So far, that journey is amazing. I have managed to get into a bigger workplace, health issues got resolved, low self-esteem issues got subsided, found my love for reading again, and started writing! (The last one is a huge surprise for me.) I can’t say I am completely over my inferiority complex. Still, when someone praises me, I nervously laugh and start thinking for a few seconds- am I really worth the praise! Then I force myself to get over that moment. It’s a long continuous boring process where I need to remind myself every day that I am doing well and keep working on myself.
I guess most of us have our moments when our characteristics clash between superiority and inferiority. Maybe there is a bit of both blended in the personality of the supreme portion of our society. We need to learn to not fall into the deep charcoal black circle of inferiority complex while avoiding crossing the border of confidence where we might tend to possess superiority complex and become toxic to our surrounding people.
