Member-only story

The Holidays Will Always Hurt

Honest reflections

Diana C.
Know Thyself, Heal Thyself
2 min readDec 29, 2024

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Image by Piyapong Saydaung from Pixabay

How do pigeons take off at exactly the same time? Not a millisecond late, not a moment of hesitation, all their wings open wide and they take off—a flight that seems directionless to me, but that serves a purpose for them.

I‘m watching them from a splintered wooden bench in a quiet park, trying to calm my anxiety. I’m so close to a full-blown panic attack, trying my best to hide my teary eyes and trembling hands from the people passing by on their way to church. I wondered how I could faint in such a way that no one would notice—that they’d think I’d just closed my eyes and was in deep thought.

Sitting there, it occurred to me that no matter how much I write about my pain and experiences, no matter how many people tell me they can relate, and no matter how much progress I think I’ve made, there’s still a deeply hurt, broken, hidden part of me that creeps up during the holidays, in the moments between distractions and crowded rooms, that still makes me feel lonely.

What if we never truly understand ourselves or find our own natural rhythm, like the effortless grace of pigeons in flight? Humans are the only ones who can break their hearts repeatedly. We are the knives we turn inside ourselves, and healing just means not letting others taste the pain we have swallowed—not some state of a…

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Know Thyself, Heal Thyself
Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

Published in Know Thyself, Heal Thyself

Authenticity, vulnerability, awareness & growth through storytelling, sharing of personal experiences, and knowledge on spiritual matters.

Diana C.
Diana C.

Written by Diana C.

Editor at KTHT & Hobbies & Stories. Penning, polishing, and provoking thoughts. My online presence is vast, explore it here: https://linktr.ee/ktht

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