The Narcissist Series — Chapter 1| ‘I Am Grateful That I Met You’
For Seven Years, I tolerated a Narcissist. Lesson 1
I am starting this series of articles on narcissistic abuse in order to help those who have experienced or who are experiencing narcissistic abuse.
It could be abuse from a spouse, sibling, parent, uncle, cousin, friend, or even from someone unknown(as was in my case).
A nobody — That’s true!
For seven years, I have tolerated a human being with a Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The most bizarre aspect of this situation is that he has never been in ANY kind of relationship with me — not even as a friend. And still, I had to go through this experience.
While someone may see it as a misfortune, I express my gratitude for this experience. Because this experience of 7 years with a narcissist gave me an opportunity to understand —
1. that such people exist.
I am 100% sure that if someone has never personally experienced a narcissist person in their life, they would NEVER understand the pain of those who have been the victims of a narcissist abuse. This is because it is just impossible to imagine that someone (the narcissist) can stoop down to such a level of cheapness that would make the life of another person, a living he*l.
2. the pain of others.
My personal experience made me understand the excruciating pain of the victims of narcissist abuse. The madness that they would go through with all the games that a narcissist plays.
3. I am stronger than my mind’s imagination.
I am amazed how I have survived a narcissist person for sooo long. Over the years, it has only made me strong than ever. This shows me that human beings are way more stronger than their mind’s imagination.
If you are somebody who has survived narcissist abuse, know that you are stronger than the d*vil, really!
4. that I can help others.
It is because that I went through this experience myself that it has given me the opportunity to be able to understand the depths of pain and that which goes through the mind, soul and the lives of those abused by a narcissist person. It has thus, given me the ability to see things from a very different perspective and today, it has made me capable enough to help others in a way that was impossible to happen if I had never experienced this he*l myself.
My Story
I met a man in 2017. I met him via a marriage portal ( as we have in India). We went on just 2 dates. Then we parted ways. It was pretty much clear to both of us (or at least I think so) that we were not meant to be together.
On the first date, I was attracted to this man with handsome looks, sharp features, tall and amazing communication skills.
This happened when I was working as an Enforcement Officer and was posted in the city of Jalandhar, Punjab. While my parents, back in Delhi, were scrutinizing my Shaadi.com profile, I matched with this guy and after talking to him over the phone for a while, we decided to meet.
We decided, that I would go to Chandigarh for the first meeting and that he would come to Jalandhar for the second meeting.
The time had come to meet the perfect man of my life. Oh well, just until he showed up I guess! He came to pick me up for breakfast from the place where I was staying.
Now here’s the weird that started.
So he shows up with flowers in his hands.
Wow girls…right!
Wait….
hold on…
He knocks the door and is dressed up quite a gentleman…
amazing…
I greeted him and as he waits outside, I say to him, ‘Kindly wait for a minute while I come back from the washroom’. He replies, ‘okay’.
I come out of the washroom and guess what I see…
This nobody guy whom I had just met for the first time in my life, is searching my room for someone…he is searching under the bed, behind the curtains…
And as I stand there, I say to myself, ‘he probably dropped something and lost it, right?’
On second thoughts, ‘Wait, he was standing outside the room, what would he have dropped and lost anyways?…
Umm…leave it, maybe this is just irrelevant.’
Well…So naive my younger self! :-)
Lesson 1:
‘When people show you who they are, believe them.’ — Oprah Winfrey
Really believe them!
This closes the first chapter on the Narcissist series. :-)
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Kashish Gambhir is Spiritual Consultant from India. She helps people find their best spiritual path and techniques that may help their soul to progress in the most efficient manner possible within their lifetime.
Having walked the spiritual path for more than 29 years, and having explored almost every technique, method and different religions, along with receiving training under one of the greatest spiritual teachers, today Kashish can save at least 9–10 years of exploration on their spiritual journey.
