The New Girl in School
How I Endured Bullying Until One Day
“All I wanted to do was go back inside to the library and read a book. I used to spend all my time reading books or watching television. It was safe. Nobody ever was hurt or teased or looked stupid while reading books or watching television.” — Kathryn Magendie
Moving back to my hometown suddenly and starting a new school was a frightening experience for me. There was so much happening within a very short time. The situation in the family was upsetting. My dad was not with us and my mum was struggling to cope with taking care of my siblings and me, and trying to earn a living while also caring for my grandma (dad’s mum) who had a stroke.
Changing to a new school can be a terrifying experience for any child. First, you are uprooted from a familiar place where you have friends, to this strange place where nobody knows you. Then you meet new people who you don’t know and who may not like you. You struggle to fit in and find your place. Sometimes you may be fortunate and meet nice kids who accept and welcome you.
I was the new girl in class and didn’t know how to fit in. Since I was usually ignored, I chose to read rather than chat with the other kids.
“If they don’t like you for being yourself, be yourself even more.” Taylor Swift
Some days, during the recess period, I sit quietly by myself, watching the other kids play and run all around the play area. I often prefer to stay in the class but make myself come outside and watch the others as they play.
Most of the other girls had their groups of friends and stuck together. I didn’t know many of them except for a few of them who lived close to my home.
The fact that most of the kids avoided me did not bother me so much; I was new and they didn’t know me. I believed that in time we’d become friends.
I was however liked by my teachers because I was doing well in my studies.
The ringing of the bell for the end of the school day always sent me into a panic. Whenever I heard the bell for the closing, I shrank back in my seat dreading the journey home.
When I think back to that time, there is this one day that stands out for me.
On that fine day, as the bell sounded to signal the end of school for the day, the usual commotion ensued as everyone grabbed their bags and other stuff and started streaming out of the classes, and headed towards the school gate.
I also joined the crowd of students as they went out of the classes.
The way home was through a long and narrow bush path which I found scary. There were many trees and it was dark and dank even in the middle of the day with the tropical sun blazing overhead. The rays didn’t always reach down through the wide branches and leaves above. The ground was covered with a mix of sand, thick layers of moist dead leaves, twigs, and grass.
There is however an alternative route home but it was a longer journey and passed through the major streets of the town. Most of the kids preferred this bush path because it was shorter, and also cooler, to avoid the hot afternoon sun.
I always tried my best to leave with the others when they were leaving the school premises but it seemed like everyone suddenly disappeared. At least that’s the way it looked to me.
On this particular day, that was exactly what happened. I suddenly found myself alone.
Then they descended on me seemingly out of nowhere.
I felt and heard them before I saw them.
They made a lot of noise as they came from the back. They brushed past me roughly knocking me to the ground. I get up, pick my bag and books off the mushy earth, and start brushing off the dirt trying to avoid looking at them.
They are usually a group of about four to six boys, all in their early and mid-teens with their leader, Eddy taking up the rear.
Then they move several feet ahead and stop in the middle of the path where they set up a form of barrier to block my way. On this day, it was a piece of string tied to a small shrub on one side of the path and extending across to the other side of the path.
When I got to the barrier and tried to move past it, they shoved me back and prevented me from passing.
Everyone else who gets there is allowed to pass, either around the string or over it. I was not allowed to do any of that.
As they shoved me back, they asked, “Why should we allow you to pass?” Meanwhile, other students keep moving past without any hindrance.
As I’m writing this and recalling the experience it all sounds so silly, but it must have been traumatic for the child I was at the time.
The encounter lasts several minutes and I don’t have the guts to confront them or do anything else. I stand there cowering in fear, shaking and near tears feeling helpless.
Eventually, when they feel they have tormented me enough for that day, they let me go, saying,
“You are lucky today, next time it will be worse for you.” Then they saunter off.
None of the other kids ever intervened. I am only rescued if an adult happens to come upon us and notices what is going on. Then they quickly remove the barrier and I have the chance to escape, at least for that day.
I never reported the matter to any of the teachers or my mother.
The bullying and harassment continued for several months.
Until one day.
Someone informed my mum about what had been going on and how the group of boys had been bullying and terrorizing me.
When my mum confronted me about it, I confessed everything that had been happening. After receiving some scolding from her, she went to Eddy’s house, to tell his parents.
“I am going to report this to the police if they don’t stop harassing my daughter and I will get him arrested if anything happens to her.” She warned.
And that was how the harassment stopped.
But for months, I had had to endure all the bullying and torment from those boys.
The scars from the terrifying experience lasted for a long time. I was suspicious of most of the other kids and preferred to keep to myself, so I didn’t make a lot of friends.
After many years, I ran into Eddy at a rest stop while on a trip home. I didn’t recognize him until he came to me and introduced himself. He had changed a lot and didn’t look anything like the little tyrant he had been many years ago.
We chatted briefly and I found out he stayed in the same city as I did. We went our separate ways after the chat but didn’t exchange contact details.
After we parted, I spent some time remembering all that happened at the time. I tried to understand what I was feeling and if there were still some bad feelings associated with the memory. I realized that I had not thought about the incident for a very long time.
I also didn’t harbour any ill feelings towards him for what had happened. I guess I had chalked it up to youthful exuberance and mischief.
Much later as I thought back to the entire episode, I wondered why they had made me a target of their bullying. What was it all about and what had they wanted from me? Also, why did I keep it to myself and not report to the teachers or my mother until someone else did?
Many questions.
I should have asked him some of them when we met. But I had been too shocked to see him to articulate any such thoughts.
It doesn’t matter anymore.
It’s all in the past.
A very long time ago.
Thank you for reading.
