The Not So Easy Life With PTSD
Psychological scars are slow to heal
PTSD is real, all-encompassing, and difficult to manage because it surfaces with great power seemingly out of nowhere. I’ll feel healthy, comfortable, and engaged for months; and then… Something triggers my PTSD and my ‘normal’ world crumbles. Again.
The trigger stimulus causes a chemical release; a replay in my body and mind that I can hardly bear.
The “oh fuck, not this again” feeling of doom hits hard. The nervous system responds. “Red alert! We have a threat!”
Is the threat real at this moment? The PTSD sufferer cannot tell. It feels as real as ever.
Besides being terrifying, haunting, and exhausting, PTSD makes me feel powerless, over and over again. It ruins many days of my life, well after the initial trauma.
In the terror of that fucked up reality, my nervous system gets hijacked and sends my mind into a state of pure panic. The fear that lives in my bones emerges. When will this end?
I have been to therapy. I have tried medications. I do yoga every day. I meditate. I practice controlled breathing. I have a couple of great friends whom I can talk to. I have tools in my toolbox for dealing with this. Still, I wish it would end. So I can be free and feel normal.
