The Power of Fear: Discovering My Deepest Love
The one who sees the essence
Beautiful Diana C. posted “June Prompts” that were probably exactly what I needed. The theme of stepping into the unknown, overcoming fears, and growing into the new version of me has been brooming in my mind a lot lately.
For everyone, the path looks different. Mine starts with meeting fears.
I wonder how many fears I have. 50 or 300? Have you ever counted yours? I’ve listened to them for way too long. Now, I’m realizing how much I got used to all of them. No matter where I want to go or do I have them as stop signs. The more I live the more I get new ones. I feel like I have them all around me. For so long I wanted them all to just vanish because it’s exhausting to have a fight with each of them on every road at every turn. At first, I thought I had to do something with those signs. How do I make them go away? I’ve tried to study them, zooming in on every detail. I’ve tried to ignore them. I’ve even tried to scream at them. But fears are still here with me. Because fears aren’t the problems to be resolved.
Luckily I realized that life is not about having fights with fears. Signs aren’t there to stop me but to ask me questions. Actually, the most important questions. They showed me how every minute of my life is a choice and a sacrifice. These decisions at every stop sign define me. That is how I know who I am. The harder the decision the more I know what I truly deeply love. And loving things to the fullest is the greatest gift life could ever give me.
Love is the only antidote to fear. Nothing else works. Believe me, I’ve tried.
The stronger the fear the stronger should be love. What is truly worth choosing to go down the road and meet the danger the signs are warning me about? I know there is pain ahead, but I’m choosing to go there anyway? That’s because my love of the road and the destination is strong enough to make this choice. Loving things make humans unstoppable. Courage doesn’t come from the desire to defeat my fear. Courage comes when I realize that I love something more than I fear everything else.
Every second of my life is a choice, focus, and creation. When I focus all of my energy on the road, when I give everything to the moment, when I’m completely in the process of creation all those signs, doubts, and bad memories become as small as they truly are. Because it was me who was making them huge. When I was doubting my ability to handle certain aspects of life I was making myself small. As a result, the sign would seem so big, I believed I couldn’t get past it.
Now I know that I can create such a powerful stream of energy that I would have enough force to protect my fear. I want my pain, doubt, and fear to be my partners in the creation of my story.
I’ve noticed how the shift from fear to love feels in my body. Fear is stiff and limiting. It’s like a shell around my whole body, especially the heart. I want to isolate myself from the world. While love is the desire to open up, reach out. Like opening the shell and letting my soft vulnerable body feel the world around me. I want to be connected to everything. I’ve been using this imagery to overcome severe anxiety for a while. Instead of pushing things away, I’m slowly letting them in. Sometimes, when the fear is very strong I’m focusing on other things I’m ready to let in, something safe and harmless like plants, colors, or songs. When I’m afraid I try to remember everything I want to hug in the world. That’s my little lifehack. We could say it is some type of meditation.
As l look back at my life, I see how hard choices and love defined my path. And fear refined my essence. It made me see love differently. Now I know how much I’m ready to let into my soul. I know I’m ready to let inside a lot of people who need what I want to share in my blog and hopefully in my books or videos. I’m also ready to let in adventure. Probably, indie music is somewhere on the list. I adore animals, especially insects. Little bugs make me love this world even more. But the most valuable moments for me are when the person removes all protective mechanisms, goes past their shame, and shares the most authentic and vulnerable parts of themselves. Solely for these moments, I’m willing to withstand any challenges and go through any pain. I would make this choice without a blink of an eye.
Our beautiful world is huge. There are always endless possibilities to grow, take in, and build ourselves. What we try to escape could be worth going through. What we are running from could be loved with a bit of courage. Every moment is worth letting in. Even fear can be your best friend if you are ready to look at it and take its hand.
I want this June to make all about that. I want to practice letting in as much as I can and give out everything I can. I want to practice being this vessel for life force and see where it gets me. At the beginning of the month, I usually write down my plans and choose the ‘word of the month’. This month I picked the word “generator”. Mostly I don’t have a problem soaking in energy and transforming it. My struggle is about letting it out, which makes me usually irritated and eventually overwhelmed. I’m ready to learn how to do it. Hopefully, this blog post is just the beginning.
Can you share in the comments what is more important to you than fear?
Thank you, Diana C. for inspiration!
