The Quicksand Called Life
Wading through pain
I am submerged in a sea of emotions. Anger and anxiety control most of my life. People avoid me. My family members struggle to tolerate me. I cause them deep hurt and harm all the time. With every passing day, I am becoming a person whom I never wanted to be. I see Mr.Hyde when I look in the mirror. I break the mirror impulsively. It creates a million fragments of my evil self.
I wish I could be a stray leaf, or a speck of dust, leading an inconspicuous, invisible existence. I wish I could be a steady stream whose only aim is to flow in to the sea. I wish I could be a mighty mountain, unaffected by storms and slides. I wish I could be the moon, waxing, waning and silently shadowing the earth’s footsteps.
There is chaos in my mind. There is blood on my hands. I wash them frantically. The stains refuse to fade; not from the heart. It aches to see others’ suffer. It pains to know that I am the sole reason. I have been running away all my life. Suffering follows me everywhere. I have reached the end of the road. I am alone and lost. I look up at the sky. Grey clouds stare back, threatening to burst any time.
Medical intervention may help. A doctor may hear me out. Medicines may put me to rest. A therapy might calm me down. But, I don’t want a pill; I long for a kind word. I don’t want sympathy from a stranger; I want a hug from a dear one. I don’t want healing from a doctor; I want love from my little human. I don’t want to sleep in peace every night; I just want to know, there is a better morrow waiting for me.
