The Secret to Happiness Lies in a Good Delete Button
Happiness is not something that is achieved; it is a state of mind.
The Year I Attained Enlightenment
1996 was the worst year in my life but it was also the year when I attained enlightenment and gained control of my life.
That was the year when I lost my job, my girlfriend left me (I was just ghosted) and my dad died unexpectedly. Life was topsy-turvy many times over and the remnants of life had fast spiraled far beyond my control.
Yes, I did try to make things work but the miniature seedling of hope could never survive the barrage of negative thoughts that had flooded my mind. It was over, truly over.
It was in these times of despair that I met him at a local pub. Let us call him Mr. X.
X was unremarkable in appearance; one of those double-chinned, potbellied, middle-aged chatty guys, you will find in every pub. I was in no mood to chat but he was persistent and we eventually struck a conversation.
I still have no clue why X chose to sit with me on that day but it was the turning point of my life. And it was not long before I had poured my heart out to a total stranger.
X listened to me carefully and then started saying.
“You know what, the secret to happiness just lies in a good delete button. Once your delete button is in place, life becomes a cakewalk.”
I was intrigued. He carried on.
People will tell you many things.
“You are not talented. That is why you lost your job.”
“Your girlfriend left you because she found a loaded guy”
“Your dad died of a broken heart because you failed to fulfil his dream”
And so on……
And when negative, discouraging thoughts come trying to contaminate your mind, just Hit the Delete Button before they start taking control of your life. It is really simple actually. For example,
“I am not talented”. Delete. “I am bursting with talent and will get another job.”
“My girlfriend left me.” Delete. “She does not deserve me. Good riddance”.
“My dad was disappointed with me.” Delete.” I will prove him wrong”.
And so on……
Remember, the key is to guard your mind. You control the entry to what you allow in. You can dwell on every negative thought and every derogatory comment, or you can choose to delete it. The choice only lies with you only.
“Delete… delete…delete…It has been a wonderful experience for me since I started using the delete button. My life is simpler and I do not feel overwhelmed. I smile more and am definitely calmer. For the things I really want to do, I can give in my 100% now without any fears hanging onto me. And I am getting better at hitting the delete button on activities and obligations I no longer want to do.” He spoke.
His words were inspiring; no doubt about it. They gave me a reason to continue living my life, albeit in a new way. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I swung into action that very night onwards, activating my delete button.
I Deleted My Toxic Relationship
Yes, I was hanging on to my girlfriend hoping against hope that she will come back one day. It never happened.
Now I just deleted her from my life. I deleted her contacts, profiles, and unfriended her in every possible channel. I removed her photos and did not offer any explanation what so ever. It was hard. It required a bit of self-discipline and a little bit of brutality. Nevertheless, I did it.
It was my first liberating act. It was a gift I gave to myself. I deserve better and a lot better and it is time I start standing by my values.
I Deleted My Quest for Perfection
Perfection is unattainable, so trying to achieve it is a waste of your time.
I have struggled with my quest for perfection for so long that I have constantly demeaned and ridiculed myself and in the process missed the improvement and growth opportunities in life. In the very process of making myself better, I had hampered my very ability to make mistakes, learn from mistakes and make new mistakes.
This time, I just deleted perfection.
“My article will never get accepted by the publisher”. Delete.” Just send it across.”
“I have never done freelancing work before. I will mess it up. Delete.” Just go ahead and mess it up”.
And so on……
Remember, no one is perfect, but anyone can make the decision to be a better person. Just be better in what you do. That is, it!
I Deleted Excuses
I deleted all excuses. I realized that I would always have an excuse for not doing something and hiding my failures. Unfortunately, life does not work based on excuses. If I need to be productive, I need to let go of all excuses. For example,
“I feel tired and unfit to jog today.” Delete. “I am going jogging today.”
“I need to learn the new version of the financial software but I don’t have the mood to learn.” Delete. “I need to do it. My future depends on it.”
“The recruiter told me to meet him but he stays far off.” Delete.” I will go even to Timbuctoo to meet him”.
And so on……
Remember, procrastination is one of the greatest burglars of growth, improvement, and happiness. Be deliberate and take action now when you have the time for it, as well as doing things at the right time. Do not wait because there will never be a right time for anything.
I Deleted Fear
The problem with fear is that it makes you smaller. We became so much fear averse in life that we get complacent with our jobs, activities, and attitudes. This fearful attitude stops us from achieving our full potential and this becomes a recipe for disaster.
Therefore, I started deleting my worst fears.
“I have never written an article on Start-ups.” Delete. “Let me write an article on start-up culture today.”
“I am not talented enough to be a freelance programmer.” Delete. “Let me learn the skills required to be a rocking freelance programmer.”
And so on…
Start eliminating your fears. Stop letting the fear of what could happen stop you from realizing your wildest dreams. When you start eliminating your fears, you open countless opportunities for yourself. Fear is not real; it is simply the thoughts you maintain. You control your fears and you control your destiny. Simple as that!
As Rudyard Kipling has rightly said.
“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our own fears.”
About Govind
Govind is a retired corporate executive spending all his leisure time writing and reading just about anything under the sun from leadership, management to ancient history. He loves talking about topics like leadership and management that are close to his heart and writing his heart out for the world to listen and learn from him (more precisely his mistakes). He can be reached at govind.narasimhan@yahoo.com
