The View From the ICU
And a moment of epiphany
About four years ago I was wheeled into the ICU due to a medical emergency. It wasn’t anything serious… okay maybe a little serious, but that’s not what I am here to talk about.
My day 1 in the ICU was a busy and blurry event. I wasn’t doing much obviously but I had appointments. Doctors and nurses walked all the way up to my bed to see me and ask me about my health and monitor my vitals and also to poke me with needles and draw as much blood as they legally can and then inject me with glucose, saline, or whatever those things are. My pulse rate was too high and so a doctor suggested, “Don’t think much, your pulse is very high; calm down and don’t stress” Now, I am positive that was a well-intentioned comment but it didn’t do much for my stress though.
So that was day one. Did I mention that the food was pathetic? But that goes without saying! The nurses had no respect for my privacy but they were all chatty, kind, and caring. Day 2 went by waiting for the test results and then waiting for the doctor. All in all, it was a boring day. I was a little in pain but mostly drowsy (from the pills maybe) and I am pretty sure I was every bit of the whiny, irritating patient who just wants to go home.
It was on the third day that I noticed it. The wall opposite my bed, on the other side of the hall, had three huge glass windows in it. The blinds were drawn on two of those windows. The third window had its blinds pulled up. I could see a hint of the sky but most of the view was taken up by a huge tree full of yellow flowers. It was simple yet so beautiful to look at.
Had the blinds been up since I arrived? I didn’t know. I hadn’t even noticed the window until my third day there. I looked around. The nurses and other staff were busy like bees. The patients on their beds were in their own little world- fighting an illness, in pain, tired, and wanting to go home- just like I was a few moments ago…too busy to notice this beauty in front of us.
It wasn’t until a few days later that I had a moment of epiphany. Noticing and appreciating the view made me feel calm in the ICU (a place where most are worried about their lives) I found out even later that this emotion that I experienced is known as elevation. It occurs when you witness beauty, kindness, or bravery and you feel a warm feeling in your chest, tingling in your arms. Yea, kinda like love but not really.
For me, appreciating the sunset, the sunrise, the blooming flowers, we-don’t-give-a-shit squirrels, the sky filled with cotton candy-like clouds, the rainbow, a kind moment with a strange, a baby’s laugh are some things that fill me with positive emotions such as awe, wonder, admiration, and elevation. Even when you read a particularly good poem or story you feel the elevation, don’t you?
Anyway, my epiphany was this- people in the ICU didn’t/couldn’t appreciate the beautiful view because they were worried about their lives, and rightly so. But people outside the ICU, the healthy ones, the ones that are so busy in their lives that they forget to see the beauty in this world are missing something huge, aren’t they?
So, the point I am trying to make is that we ought to look more for beauty in the little things. And I am not just asking you to marvel at the sunset or mountain, but maybe challenge yourself to find beauty in other little things: A leaf, swaying back and forth, as it falls from a tree; how a person’s eyes light up when they begin to smile; strangers helping each other in tiny ways that doesn’t count much. Life is a collection of tiny moments. We experience them or we miss them.
Now I am not suggesting that you leave all the ‘worthy’ work you do every day and just sit and look for these little things. But you know what you can do? Make some time to involve yourself in environments where you would be filled with awe and admiration. Doesn’t have to be every day (but it would be so good if you could!) or even every week… maybe just once a month and I am sure you will be wanting more of it. Also, try to spread your own kindness and compassion. Making people laugh and smile gets you to be liked by them instantly!
Look at the world with a child’s eye- it is very beautiful!
Do let me know what are the things in this world that you have learned to appreciate and are grateful for!
PS: the three chicks in the photo go by the name ‘Charlie’s A̶n̶g̶e̶l̶s̶ Chicks’
