There Will Be No More Us
The dream that scattered across the cosmos of reality
Something broke in me this week. I realized that it was the last strain of hope.
For months and months, I was engulfed by the feeling of attachment and a belief that there would be more to come between us.
It amazes me every time, how our beliefs control our lives, even when we get evidence of the opposite.
Confirmation bias is a strong master. When confronted with evidence against our beliefs, we give them less importance. Evidence that supports our beliefs will get magnified.
When I confronted you in all honesty, I needed to hear the truth for my own sanity. And I got the undeniable truth. It will never be us.
It doesn’t matter which mixed signal that could be interpreted as hope. It was gone now.
Although I got exactly what I needed, this was what I had been in denial about for more than a year. It didn’t help that you were emotionally too blind to understand yourself.
In your goodbyes, you said our relation helped you understand yourself better. You said thank you. I didn’t appreciate it at the time.
I wanted so badly to help you grow. But the reason for it was selfish. I wanted to help you understand your own feelings so that you would feel the love for me, that I felt for you.
Instead, you grew a stronger bond with someone else.
Isn’t it a classic? The threesome drama. I love you, you love her. Except in this story, there is a happy ending, except it is not mine. It is yours and hers.
Congratulation.
I might say this with sweet bitterness.
Something broke inside of me this week, but it is okay. Mountains of sadness pushed me down to the ground, and I let myself feel it.
I was finally able to accept.
And I am grateful for that. I am grateful to finally be free of the last hope that kept me hanging on.
I am free. Free to love truly again. I finally feel truly open to new possibilities.
I am not ready to say this to you yet, but: “Thank you for letting me go.”
Previously yours,
Dolores Darkmatter
