To Choose Peace Over Happiness

For it’s always the higher the highs, the lower the lows.

Photo by Hannah Gut on Unsplash

Happiness
Once seemed like jewels that shine beneath warm rays
Of sunlight in my eyes,
Though they could blind me for a second
And make me loose all sense of direction.

But perhaps it’s a euphoric feeling—
To be lost in the delight and drunken sensation
Of love’s warmth and care—
One that makes you stare
Into space and feel like you’re in the right place.

Though, those who reach too high
Will soon find the deepest of lows—
To sharp the edges for a jewel too shiny
Will soon make the deepest of cuts,
If one’s not careful enough.

For a year,
I’ve reached a new height and fell and climbed again—
Though I knew the falls were inevitable,
I once had the strength to find my way out the rubble.

One always wants more than they possess—
So I had to grab all the jewels I could feel
And bleed more with each I’d obsess
Before my wounds could heal.

Only rest can replete the strength that was depleted—
Because there’s only so much blood for one to bleed
Before one falls, again.

Jewels are no longer warm, but cold
In my pale hands
As I rest my demands—
To stay at the bottom and remain uncut
Than to seek the heights,
Only to fall deeper.

For now and for once,
I choose peace
Over happiness.

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𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 & 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴.

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A.X. Bates

A.X. Bates

Words can make a difference. Theatre student writing poems about life, society, and coffee. @axybates on Instagram and Twitter.