Triumphant, At Last

The battle for fearless freedom

Photo by Nikola Majksner on Unsplash

How fragile and afraid was I dwelling there with you
giving to you what I couldn’t begin to give to others
nor to myself — unconditional love and total devotion
and I fell for your false pretenses, your veiled lies
became consumed by your gifts of comfort and avoidance

You became the sole keeper of all my deepest secrets
carried my pain and shame into every rooted tree
diluted my guilt in every brook, lake and vast ocean
and I thought if I could just remain here with you
and be swept into the undercurrents, I’d be saved

But you soon became a cruel and demanding mistress
and for a while, I was your willing, faithful slave
I thought it best to serve this familiar depravity
remain chained here in the underbelly of darkness
than take my chances in an uncertain, unknown world

So night after night, I slept in your cold embrace
breathing you in as I exhaled my own essence out
And in dreams, battles raged between light and dark
as light beings struck blows upon my dark mistress
and I would awaken, covered in sweat and confusion

Each morning I’d noticed small chinks in my chains
felt tiny bolts of energy course through my being
And I pondered if my mistress noticed dancing light
circling about my feet and slowly travelling upwards
or hear an angelic chorus singing lightly in my ears

And then one night, I felt you flee from our embrace
As my eyes blinked open, a bright light burst forth
I was encircled by light beings with outstretched hands
beckoning to me — and their voices whispering, Come
So enchanted, I arose and followed them into the light

Now that I’ve abandoned all the pain, guilt and shame
left it all buried deep within the earth, raging in waves
and taken up this armor of fearlessness and freedom
I know that love cannot linger lifeless in the void
but must be released in abundance to an uncaring world

© 2020 Lori Carlson. All Rights Reserved.

Lori Carlson writes Poetry, Fiction, Articles, Creative Non-Fiction and Personal Essays. Most of her topics are centered around Relationships, Spirituality, Life Lessons, Mental Health, Nature, Loss, Death, and the LGBTQ+ community. Check out her personal Medium blog here.



𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘷𝘶𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺, 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 & 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘨𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴.

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