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What am I Afraid People Will Find Out if They Actually Get to Know Me?
I need to go outside more
Intrusive thoughts. Self-doubt. Anxiety.
It goes without saying that I want nothing to do with these monsters this year. But it’s not that simple. You can’t just verbalise New Year’s resolutions and not make any tangible changes. That’s pure disillusionment.
I’ve lied to myself so many times about getting out more, socialising more, and being more people-oriented. The intention was there, but when a social opportunity presented itself, I backed out at the last minute. I couldn’t handle the pressure and the anxiety, and, to be honest, I didn’t want to make the effort.
Many of us are afraid of what people will find out about us once they get to know us. Whether we’ve genuinely convinced ourselves that we’re so terrible that people shouldn’t want anything to do with us or we’re so stuck in our comfort zone, the fear is real and paralysing.
My last episode of social anxiety was over New Year’s when my partner and I were invited to some friends’ house. My heart rate was all over the place for about 2 or 3 days; I had trouble concentrating on my tasks, and I changed my mind about going a million times. It was the worst episode I’ve ever had, and no matter how much my partner tried to…