What Happens Between This Moment and the Next?
The silent battle that goes on in there.
So many things happen between this moment and the next. But are we mindful enough to be aware of what they are? Not me, I realized. This made me ponder all those little invisible events happening in there.
I recognized a few. I knew these were not just for me. Let me share my between the moments’ events first.
Hope:
How many of you constantly hope for good things to happen to you? Everybody. Isn’t it? Every time I’m conscious of my thoughts, I can see the forms of hope I have.
I hope to have a little more time to play with my son. Just the other day, I caught myself wishing for an extra fifteen minutes, just to watch him draw his first circles without the rush of getting to work.
I hope for that community that I’m seeking. I’ve always been with my kind of people. Now that I’ve returned to my hometown after my 10-year studies, I feel a bit on the outside. I’m hoping to feel that sense of belonging again, which is hard to find here.
I hope that the unconventional path I chose leads me where I want. I have a good job in hand. Yet I’ve always wanted to do something that I love and work with new people. I am pursuing that new path and want it to work out.
I hope to attain peace inside me. However, as I age and mature, there is still an unsettling fire inside me. That fire isn’t good and I’m yearning to quell that fire.
I hope to embrace all my emotions. I was happy and sad on the same day. I wondered why I couldn’t be neutral and welcome both as they are. I don’t want to be sad. But when I am, I want to be calmly accepting of what is.
I hope to connect with people in a meaningful way. I find myself having only work-related conversations. I want a deeper one.
I hope to be skilled at being consistent. Every time I start a new habit, like journaling, I hope this time it will stick. Consistency is something that I want to befriend.
These are some of the hopes that run through my mind often. But there is not only hope; there is more.
Fear:
No one can escape fear. She is always there, waving at us. She makes sure she occupies as much space in the moments between as her friend or foe, “hope.” These are her different forms in me:
The fear of losing all that I had received till now. I’ve got all the good things that I’ve dreamed of. As happy as I am, there is always a fear of them vanishing sometime, that lurks in me.
I fear that I’m leaving the gold in hand in search of a diamond that doesn’t exist. Like when I’m choosing to pursue something that my heart wants when I already have so much.
The fear of making a fool of myself in front of everybody, especially those who ridiculed me. Trust me, there are so many people around me who are ready to judge at any time.
The fear of uncertainty about whether what I’m doing will work or not. Every new venture carries this weight — will it succeed or fail?
The fear of unconsciously repeating the mistakes that I made before. This is the worst of my fears. An unforgivable one. I missed the lessons and wandered off mindlessly.
The fear that I’ll regret later. Every big decision comes with this shadow — will future me look back with regret?
That felt like a lot. But I always wonder how our human brains have evolved to fear things that are far from a threat to survival. Whatever, there is a winner for all. And she is not “fear.”
Reality:
She is there, seated comfortably, smiling at the petty war between fear and hope. She speaks with a calm and steady voice with the utmost clarity. She says in simple words:
You may choose to hope or fear. But all that happens is not going to be in your control. What is in fact in your control is how you choose to respond to what happens. Till that happens, are you going to waste your time with hopes and fears? Or act and make dreams come true?
I remember this glimpse of clarity in between the moments. Reality was whispering at me, urging me to take action rather than let fear or hope paralyze me. And this is how I come to the present and get things rolling.
You need to make this moment matter so the next moment becomes valuable.
There is nothing as joyful as making every moment matter
Hi. I am Shanjitha. I have been in a relationship with the creative process and intentional living for a while. As a physician and a mom, I strive to create meaningful pieces. I am growing and evolving through my creative journey and want to share it with the world. This is my Substack blog and you can find me here sharing all my learnings and insights. Follow along to learn about creating, intentional living, and personal growth. I also share summaries of all the books that inspire me.
In response to the prompt:
