What If I was White?
A poem about race.
What if I was white?
If I was white would I get that job I always wanted?
If I was white would I get respect like I never did, before?
If I was white maybe I’d be prettier.
I’d have a slimmer nose, lighter eyes, straighter hair.
Maybe then the boys would look at me.
Actually look at me, and see.
Not just the colour of my skin but the beauty in my soul.
If I was white, I’d finally be away from this darkness.
Darkness from the dark skin stuck to my bones like a plague, since birth.
“Mummy why don’t I look like the other girls in school?”
“Mummy why do they call me monkey?”
“Mummy I want straight hair like Bethany?”
“Mummy why is my skin so dark?”
“Mummy why do I look like this?”…
“It’s okay child, love the skin you are in”
Comforting words from a mother trying her best by her confused, nappy haired negro daughter
How can I love this skin that I am in when society tells us that the lighter you are, the better you are, the whiter you are, the brighter you are.
Should I dress white, wear my hair white, think white, act white?
People tell me, “oh you look so different to how you sound”.
Well how do I sound, to you?
You sound white, you speak right!
I have to be white to speak right, that not right, I’m not white.
I am not white. I could only hope to be light.
Lighten my skin with the bleach that burns.
Scrubbing, scratching, burning, scrub away this pigment, this melanin, this sun kissed skin given to me from my mother, my father.
What if I was white?
If I was white would I have gotten better grades at school?
If I was white would I have gotten stopped by the police so they could do a routine check, again?
If I was white maybe I’d have white friends, and we would make white jokes, meet white blokes and I’d bring my partner home to meet my white folks.
Maybe then I’d be happy.
Actually happy with me, being me.
If I was white.
