Member-only story
What is Romance?
Chasing the Mystery
I recently had a conversation about the topic of romance.
“What’s your idea of romance and what kind of dates do you like?” was the question that triggered the many thoughts that ran through my head that morning.
I answered with: “Romance to me is deeply bonding with your partner, and taking the time to Love them in the way that they want to be Loved. Doing things that they appreciate because you like to see them happy, make them feel good, relaxed, cherished.
Social media, and the media in general, have provided ideas of what romance should look like, but I don’t believe that they’re the only gestures that should be appreciated. Different things speak to different people.”
I was somewhat satisfied by my answer, but felt the need to take some time to go a little deeper on the topic. I posed the question to others prior to writing this: “What does romance mean to you?”
We all shared similar answers, and I presented circumstances where what is generally considered romantic would lose its value. I speak of “the mystery” very often nowadays, where one’s interest to get to know you and be in your presence, the desire to give you all that you deserve, dies down as they acquire more access to you. In some ways, I feel that chasing feelings of or the idea of romance will result in the same — interest lost in the relationship or connection.
Acts of Romance — Do Effort and Resources Matter Most?
The media has emphasized the importance of taking vacations with your significant other, candlelit dinners, and rose petals leading to the tub and bed, “I Love you” spelled out on the sheets.
Although these are all things that can be categorized as romantic, acts of romance can be something as small as holding hands on the way to the car, holding the door, taking walks together, making dinner for the other, a massage, filling their refrigerator with food, or gentle kisses on the hand or forehead, and more.
The former acts, that the media presents, require more effort and resources. The latter are things that can be done every day, most times with little thought to them. Again, as those acts are smaller and done more…