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When a Lover Pulls Away, or the Passion Fades
At first, you’ll fight it, but eventually, you’ll find what feeds you
Just like after a breakup, if a lover pulls away or the relationship becomes less intense, less all-encompassing, eventually, you accept that something is over.
My partner and I have been together for a long time. It isn’t a breakup we are going through, but there’s been a shift — a shift he’s accepted with grace, while I’ve found myself still holding onto stars.
We’ve been polyamorous for much of our relationship, but he became ready for someone new in his life while I had been questioning polyamory and leaning into just us.
It’s been a year since that shift, and I’m learning to accept I’ve lost something that made me feel special — the belief he would drop everything for me if I just said the word. I thought that he could take polyamory or leave it, that he would be happy with me either way.
I’m learning to accept this truth, but when I first realized it, it was a huge blow.
Sometimes, there’s a necessary shift we must go through, something initiated by something outside ourselves to which we must respond. We could see this as a sign we’re ready to do some important work and accomplish something for ourselves alone.
