Aug 31, 2020
When Is Enough Not Enough?
Should We Put Limits on Love or Healing?
I used to sit and wonder, Will I ever be enough?
At times in my life that question carried with it an adjective, rendering “enough” an adverb: Will I ever be thin enough? Will I ever be smart enough? Other times verbs inserted themselves — will I ever have enough? Will I ever earn enough?
At times I’ve thrown my hands up and said, “Enough with enough. I’ll just be and do what I can.” And that worked . . . it all seemed to be, well, enough. Until the question would creep in, “Is this enough?”
It’s a funny word. Especially how often it emerges as a question.
On the one hand, it implies that we’re lacking. If I’m not _____ enough or I don’t ______ enough, then there’s an insufficiency. More is needed and would be better.
But it also suggests I’m just as close to the line of too much. If I’ve eaten enough, then eating more will tip me into bloating and excess.
It’s almost as if the word “just” were always hanging out before “enough.” I’m just _____ enough. I’m just thin enough, just smart enough, or I have just enough money or just enough friends. But any more ____, and that would be too much of ______.
It’s as if “enough” — in the form of an interrogatory, “Is this enough?” — were demanding some kind of equipoise or balance that is almost impossible to achieve. Any less, and I’d tip right back into lack. Any more, and I’m bloating into excess.
But then I think about love, and wonder: Why aim for enough when it comes to love in its myriad and miraculous forms?
Should we be just loved enough?
Should we love ourselves and others just enough?
Why not be so overflowing with love that you’re nowhere near the line of enough?
Should we heal ourselves just enough?
Should we know ourselves just enough?
I suppose you can have too much of anything, but where’s the line between enough and too much when it comes to love? Maybe the right amount for each of us is the moment we ask ourselves where that line is?
I think I’ve asked enough questions for today.
Or have I?
Many thanks to 𝘋𝘪𝘢𝘯𝘢 𝘊. to her weekend prompt.
