Where There’s Smoke, There’s Fire!
or not
THAT MOMENT, ON THAT PLANE.
Yep, that’s me in that picture.. on a plane, doing the selfie thing. So I snap a few, then I pull the phone back up and take a look, annnnddd.. what is that back there in the aisle? Floating amidst the cabin?!
Is that Smoke!?!?
Wait, I’m on a plane!
Where there’s smoke, there’s fire!
Pull the alarm, get someone’s attention!
No. Wait.
ALARM BELLS!
Pretty sure we all know that “smoke & fire” phrase.
It comes early and easy, and makes complete sense.
We’ve been passing it on for generations.
The implication?
See Smoke?
Danger!
Unless of course, there’s not.
I get the need to train ourselves to set the Alarm Bells off in our head for certain things. I just happen to think the caveman part of us is going to respond to most of these kind of dangers without the need for training. We’ve got thousands of years of that in our DNA already.
TUNING-IN
Meanwhile, life these days requires so much more nuance for navigation.
We know this because how often our anxiety jolts our nervous system ahead of that big meeting with the boss. We’re poised for pouncing like there’s a sabertooth behind those conference room doors. But that kind of danger isn’t there either.
This way of thinking doesn’t work anymore.
Though I’d tell you my system is still trained like it does.
I jump to conclusions much too quickly.
I feel a trigger, “SMOKE!”; and then I jump! “FIRE!”.
I feel myself tweaked and I immediately ready for a Jolt!
But life these days requires more sensitivity.
We might be better served to consider context first.
Consider the situation, the people around us. We might be better served to train ourselves to “tune-in” to the subtleties of life before reacting.
ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL
We don’t train anyone to sense for the subtle things, use empathy for decisioning, pay attention to the nuance for navigating.
We like the absolutes, it makes things easier.
We like our good and bad categories.
I took a business class once called “Situational Leadership”. The idea is that your approach needs to flex based on the person, the place, the assignment, and the capabilities on hand. It was one of the best set of philosophies I’ve ever heard. It didn’t register fully at the time, but this is what we need in life.
Responding to Life is Situational.
One size does not fit all.
Where there’s smoke, there may not be fire.
It may not even be smoke!
It may just be a bit of a mist,
needed to keep your flight safe, and yourself comfortable.
Let’s not hold so tightly to these quick good and bad judgements along with our reactionary responses.
There is always more here than meets the eye.
Real life is in the nuance, in the subtleties.
And to get there we need to do this one thing…
Let go and LET’s GO!
-jeff
