Who You Are Not: Finding Your True and Highest Self
It’s a simple process but not easy, and it begins with a willingness
I recently took a phone call from a younger man who is early in sobriety. Let’s call him Ronny. He’s going through a painful divorce and struggling to accept that he’s losing his wife and three children.
During the forty-five minutes we talked, Ronny did most of the talking. My job as his friend and mentor in sobriety is to listen and lead him back to the 12 steps we follow as a way of spiritual living.
Here’s a paraphrased version of Ronny’s rant. “I’m such a loser. I can’t believe I treated her so badly. I feel terrible. I realize how selfish I’ve been. I don’t know how I can live without her. I loved her so much. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known. I don’t know if I can deal with the dating scene. It’s terrible. I’ve read the studies online. I would give everything I have to win my wife back: the truck, my guns, all my tools, everything. I’m such an asshole. I can’t believe I did this. I miss her so much.”
What’s the constant in what Ronny said? “I.” Ronny feels terrible. Anyone who’s gone through a divorce knows how painful it can be. It’s easy to beat ourselves up unless we’re a psychopath who’s unable or unwilling to think about anyone but ourselves.
