Why All Dating Couples Should Include Games In Their Activities
What losing taught me
Losing can teach us a lot about ourselves and others. Instead of waiting for pressure to come, create the pressure for yourself. Our attitudes during times of desperation could either support or oppose what we’ve said or done during times of composure. We get to see who we are beyond calculated actions.
I’m not so much of a game person, but recently I was part of the Asoebi ladies (bridesmaid) for a dear friend and we had to play one of those wedding games. I and another lady made it to the last round. We were asked to get the ATM card of any guy in the audience. Unknown to me before this round kicked off someone on the high table had signaled my opponent to come get his ATM card. While I made my way into the crowd to get the object of quest the next thing I heard was people saying “No, no, that’s not it" and then I turned to see that the other girl already had her card.
Here’s The Catch
On seeing this I stood there saying “No, that’s not it" in hopes that the MC would disqualify her because she supposedly got it the wrong way. But when I saw that the MC wasn’t doing that I returned to my position and then the MC asked me “Where’s your ATM card?” and I said, “I don’t have any with me here." He asked the second time and I repeated my answer. The other lady was declared the winner and she was given some money. She was nice enough to share it with those of us at the table.
What I Learned
Later on, I replayed the scenario in my head and kept asking myself why I reacted the way I did. What stopped me from getting my own ATM card from the crowd as I was asked to do? I quit simply because someone else seemed to have succeeded.” I believe it would have made a much more valid case if I had the object in question with me. I could have argued that the other person didn’t get theirs the legit way but for that to happen I had to have found the mine. But no, I decided to throw all my chances away because I thought someone else was ahead of me. This is what happens when we forget to face the work we’ve been given; our assignments on the earth, our journeys.
If this were a sermon, I would have asked you to tell your neighbor 'Face your front.’
Believe me, if I was an onlooker watching someone else behave like that I’d be disappointed. I might even yell from where I was or whisper to a close neighbor “Get your own card. That she got hers shouldn’t stop you from getting yours. It’s not over until it’s over"
It’s crazy how we sometimes think we know how we’d behave when placed in certain situations. We judge ourselves as incapable of certain actions whether good or bad. But we forget that assumptions are what they are; assumptions and reality is where we live.
First, I was surprised at the way I reacted. It revealed to me that the truths I believed had not gotten a hold of my subconscious enough. In times of desperation and pressure, it is the things we’ve trained ourselves with that’ll come out as reflexes.
One prayer I often pray is for God to arrest my reflexes so much so that when push comes to shove and reason is out the door, all that’ll come out of me is truth.
Playing games not only helps us see how we and our partners would behave under pressure, but also helps us understand how our minds work. We can deduce what each person is willing to do just to win. Will they cheat when they feel they’re losing ground? Will they offload a wagon of negative remarks to the one who’s failing? Will they shut down because they lost or will their pride reach the high heavens when they win?
Mind you, the goal is not to catch people off guard but to discover them and ourselves outside the boundaries of decorum and calculations.
My point exactly is that gaming as an activity can offer couples the opportunity to have fun while learning salient things about their partners.
Let me know what you think about this subject. What has losing taught you? What action or reaction surprised you about yourself?
