Why Am I Kind to Everyone But Me?
When did I begin to hate myself so much?
Today, I found myself using every bit of mental will I had to crawl out from underneath the weight of insecurities I battle daily.
However hard I tried to fall back on my coping mechanisms. Every time I attempted to write something, the internal voice that consistently highlighted every flaw about me was winning.
Today, it unleashed my lack of confidence without the filters that helped me mask that belief from the world. It did not stop there. It went deeper, forcing me to relive a more personal battle. It rocked the fragile cover that disguised the demons who always whispered in my ear that, since I am dyslexic, I could never truly aspire to be a writer.
I sat there, with the laptop open and the cursor blinking, wondering if it was saying, when will this stupid girl stop.
I hated experiencing these episodes that seemed to show up every time I took steps to start something new.
I hated that it found a way to clip the wings that wanted me to fly.
You are not good enough; you are a failure! You will never be good enough!
Why was it easy to encourage, build, and uplift everyone around me, yet speaking those same words with the same lips tore me…
