Why I Stopped Caring About Winning Arguments
Winning is no longer the objective.
The history of human conflict and arguments is as ancient as our species itself. Early human societies have disagreed over resource allocation, leadership, and social norms, while modern religious, political and intellectual battles are still ongoing. It seems humans have a hard time agreeing to disagree, doesn’t it? Arguments do serve a purpose, though: to seek truth, refine ideas, maybe even challenge assumptions. Open dialogue is important for our progress, my friends — unless, and this is a vital consideration, it turns into disrespect!
Now that I am a “grown-up”, I am aware that disagreements can arise even in the most harmonious connections — but I also understand it’s how we handle these conflicts that significantly impacts the health and longevity of all of our relationships.
Growing up, my family lacked healthy conflict resolution models. My parents verbally attacked each other, raised their voice and ran out of patience quickly. Winning was more important than understanding and respecting each other. Unfortunately, this was an extremely emotionally charged environment for a child like me, who grew up without positive communication skills or the ability to seek solutions. I only learned to blame, criticize, and even gaslight to gain the upper hand in…
