You Get in Relationships to Learn How to Love Each Other
What couples' therapy taught me
There’s a lot to be said about love and relationships. Much has been written about it, from sonnets to research articles. But I’ve noticed one constant in the way people look at relationships: there’s an underlying assumption that you should know how to love each other.
Yesterday, my partner and I went to couples' counselling. No, we’re not on the brink of a break-up. I don’t actually understand why anyone would think you have to be in a bad place with your partner to go to therapy together. In my view, prevention is the best cure.
But our relationship is far from perfect. In fact, we’ve been through a lot, and healing and forgiveness have been necessary for us to be where we are now. Our biggest issue at the moment is how we deal with conflict. We haven’t had the best family examples of how to argue in a healthy way, but we’re both open and willing to work on it, so we’ve booked our first couples therapy session.
It was a valuable experience to discuss our thoughts and feelings openly in a safe space. We shared our hopes and challenges and the therapist offered a helpful perspective — she compared our relationship to a boat navigating stormy waters and emphasised the need for the two of us to work together. She also…
