Young, Old And Funeral Flowers
I am realising that everything is not as simple as it looks.
Summer is almost here, around the corner.
Have you ever wondered what corner people have in mind when they use this phrase? Summer knows no corners but it knows when it’s her turn to come and make people a bit happier.
I went back to Vilnius not a long time ago. I forgot how beautiful spring is in Lithuania. And it’s not outer beauty, it is inner beauty. After cold and bleak winter the hope comes back. It's not a rational feeling but you feel the hope filling your heart. People, us, forget that we are part of the whole.
We think that we can change things at will and/or with hard work. The ruins of lost cities are there to prove that we are wrong. All goes away.
When I was in my twenties I knew everything that there was to know. Today, I understand and know almost nothing. No wonder, my mother says to me — I understand this world less and less. I don’t get young people glued to their phones. I don’t get people’s greediness and viciousness. I don’t want to be here anymore.
I think this wisdom comes with age.
I got a phone call from a friend. His dad killed himself. What do you say to someone who goes through a tragedy like that? Are there words to soothe their pain?
I was shown a picture. Funeral flowers and a photo of a deceased person were left at a playground. I thought he was killed there or the playground was a significant place for him. It was not a case; Someone decided that it would be a good lesson for children to learn about grief. It’s bizarre and it is a mind fuck for kids playing in that playground. Or it is a ritual of a culture I know nothing about.
A theatre group from Lithuania performed in Hungary. At the end of the show, the actors fell down on the stage and the sign at the back of the stage said:
Hungary-1956 Ukraine-2020 Orban, are you sure?
I didn’t how to react to this. is it a virtue-signalling or genuine concern? Why was the sign in English and not in Hungarian? The show was meant to be for Hungarian spectators but the sign was in English. It didn’t make sense. Maybe Hungarians are happy with Orban, it’s not for outsiders to decide.
Back to my point. When I was in my early twenties I would have answers to the stories above. Today I have no clue what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong. What else is interesting is that I care less and less. Not in a sense of not giving a shit entirely but learning to decipher what is important and what is not. There are things I can’t change and there are things that I can change.
This is it for today. I would ask you to support me but the biggest support I have is your reading of my stories to the end.