German V8 or turbo flat-6?

Two of the finest German driving machines.

Ingredients for a great way to start a chilly Saturday:

• one BMW M3
• one Porsche 911 Carrera
• one small Swiss mountain pass
• coffee, preferably before all of the above

Great! Let’s drill down to the specs before we start.

The cars

2012 BMW M3 Coupé (E92)

• Engine: glorious, naturally aspirated 4 liter V8, 420 PS
• Transmission: 7-speed DCT
• Notable options: Competition Package
• Tires: Continental WinterContact TS830P, 235/40R18

2016 Porsche 911 Carrera Coupé (991.2)

• Engine: turbocharged 3 liter flat-6, 370 PS
• Transmission: 7-speed PDK
• Notable options: Sports Exhaust, otherwise pretty basic
• Tires: Pirelli P ZERO, 245/35R20 front, 305/30R20 rear

The town

I hop into the 911's seat, fiddle a bit with the controls on the standard Sport Seats, and I’m good to go. As later I find out, they struck a great balance between comfort and sportiness. Simply perfect for me!

The M3 seats have huge bolsters, but I have the feeling that I’m sitting on top of the car rather than in it. However, this higher seating position allows me to better anticipate the traffic. It may sound strange, but I’m always aware that I’m sitting in a seat, whereas the Porsche just made me forget that I’m sitting at all.

Kids, always gently warm up your oil, don’t be savages!

I leave the 911 in Normal mode for now. While cruising around town, the greatest feature of the new turbocharged engine becomes evident: it’s punchy! Mated to the mindreader of a transmission, it teleports me anywhere I want. It’s highly addictive! However, on lift-off the clutch decouples the engine from the transmission, so no more engine breaking as I’m coasting. Feels weird, maybe because it’s a new thing for me. In Sport Mode, Herr PDK banishes all revs from the lower range, disabling Start/Stop and the Coasting feature on the way.

I learn not to lower the windows when cruising. The hiss of the turbo at low revs reminds me of my turbodiesel dominated youth, way before I developed a thirst for petrol. Maybe Fabspeed can alleviate this problem with their new exhaust system. It only sounds good when I rev it. But when I do, it sings the Porsche flat-6 song! My soul is smiling.

The M3 is way more geeky. Power button makes the throttle more aggressive. The transmission has 5 different settings ranging from bored-to-death-around-idle all the way to break-your-neck-and-murder-your-dog mode, and everything in-between. Still, it’s more clunky than the PDK. By default, the car feels heavy and lifeless. Some poor engineer in Münich had to come up with these settings to produce unrealistic fuel economy numbers for the unrealistic New European Driving Cycle (NEDC). Start/Stop also feels unrefined, inducing an annoying lag between the first photons of green light reaching my retina and actually launching the car.

Sir, how would you like your M3 done? Transmission responsiveness set to 4/5th and Start/Stop turned off, maybe with a pinch of Power button. That’s when it becomes alive. My right foot releases the hounds of hell, and that V8 growl becomes haunting, even at normal RPMs! Lowering the window just makes it more exciting. Dear Throttle, from now on I shall call you Hysterical Laughter Pedal.

The ride in the 911 is stiff, but not harsh. I can feel that I’m driving a very capable car, which also happens to negotiate the bumps efficiently. Dimensions just feel right, and I feel part of the car. When I turn the steering wheel, I don’t just change the angle of the front wheels, I rotate the whole car. Big difference.

The M3 has Electronic Damper Control. The Comfort setting allows it to be extremely forgiving on bad roads, more so than the 911. Throwing it into Normal mode will make it more stiff, but still livable. Sport feels overcooked on the streets, but sharpens the handling a tiny bit on twisty and smooth roads. The 911 is stiffer overall, but feels more predictable and controlled in the suspension department.

Every now and then, the interior of the 911 produces small rattles: seatbelt assembly, back seats and other random places. I know that this is a demo car, but it’s still a young beast at 12,000 km. In comparison, the M3 is perfectly solid and silent after 70,000 km. My attention moves to the rear half of 911. I realize that it would be the perfect torture device for my enemies of average height. In such a scenario, my devious plan would consist of offering them the back seats. After a long journey, neck injury is guaranteed by the sexy sloping roofline. Small creatures like children or shorter people should be unharmed.

Unlike its sleek rival, the M3 was born with wide fenders, sculpted side skirts, a bump and intake hole[s] on the hood. These features make it look intimidating, but improve a lot on the perceived proportions. It’s an athletic, muscular car. Despite being a Coupé, the M3 can carry 4 adults and a lot of luggage. Interior styling is spartan, but build quality is good. No rattles here. The switches, buttons, control stalks feel more springy and better weighted than in the 911. The latter’s window switches offer very little resistance between lower-the-window-a-bit and drop-dat-glass-yo auto mode, making it almost impossible to create a gap of just the right amount. Why would Porsche save money on the window switch?

Once I pass the city limits and approach the small Swiss alpine road, it’s time to let the horses out and make the tires work for their money.

The real drive

I prepare the 911: Sport mode, Sport dampers, PDK in manual mode, Sports Exhaust OFF. Sorry, but the latter produces some artificial explosions which resemble firecrackers. Finally, I’m on the open road and can let ‘er rip. The engine just pulls and pulls! It’s effortless until redline. It rewards me with loads of power in a linear fashion and no hesitation. Wow, this happy engine just loves to rev! While the new flat-6 is musical, I have to conclude that it’s less emotional than the previous naturally aspirated 3.4 and 3.8.

The chassis stays flat while cornering. The balance is just lovely. Steering is a bit lighter than the M3's, but more precise and confidence inspiring. I could drive this thing all day long! Even though the base model doesn’t come with a limited-slip diff (not even as an option), it’s very elegant in the way it oversteers ever so lightly on corner exit. I accelerate, brake, turn, accelerate, over and over again. I am the conductor, and the 911 is my tiny orchestra.

The M3 can reveal its show-me-what-you-got face with the following instructions: press the M button. You’re done. M, as in Memory, because it can store a bunch of settings: Power mode, Sport dampers and DCT in manual mode. M also stands for M Dynamic Mode, allowing me to pull off spectacular power slides, but can save me from turning the precious 1,655 kg of German metal into a total loss. The subtle growl that I heard in town at low speeds now turns into a ferocious howl, then a racecar-like scream as it rips all the way to 8,300 RPM in a blink of an eye. The cherry on the cake is the intoxicating sound of downshifts!

I dive into some corners, and immediately realize that it’s severely under-tired. Currently it’s wearing narrow winter tires, but even on summer ones it would have to deal with more weight and using less rubber than the Porsche. Definitely not as confidence inspiring in the corners. Unless I’m careful with the throttle, it loves to shred its rear shoes and wag its tail on corner exit. On a straight line, it gets up to speed fast, very fast, maybe even too fast! Speeding in Switzerland is probably punishable by death, so it’s better to keep that in mind. The balance of the car is very good, but not quite perfect. It corners well, but I’m grabbing it by the scruff of the neck. Unlike the 911, it doesn’t make me feel like a driving god, but more like hairy chested circus trainer.

So, which one would I keep?

Conclusion

The 911 dances with me, moving elegantly and swiftly between the edges of the road. It feels like a snake. With the hissing turbochargers, it sure sounds like one. It’s an amazing product of more than 50 years of engineering. The more I drive it, the more I want to own one!

The M3 feels like I’m sitting on the neck of an angry but athletic bull, boosting my testosterone and adrenaline levels as it screams. Sometimes it leans in too much or loses grip while marching ahead unstoppably, but it can be a docile dog if needed.

Does the M3 make me giggle more than the 911? Yes. Is the 911 absolutely amazing to drive compared to the M3? Yes. If I could have one and only one sports car until the day I die, which would it be? A lightly used Porsche 981 Cayman GTS with PDK.

Special thanks

• to my girlfriend for driving these incredible machines alongside me and listening to me blabber about cars all day long, every day
• to Porsche Zentrum Zurich Schlieren for lending me the new 911