When Do I Feel Happiest?
Know Yourself #49
When do you feel happiest?
As someone who’s quite open about depression, anxiety, excessively worrying about a bleak future, and my tendency to skew negatively in vicious thinking patterns of fear, self-doubt, and creative paralysis, it makes it very difficult to figure out what makes me happy and why.
It’s no secret that I am very neurotic, depressed, and prone to overanalyzing all the ways I am falling significantly short of my own and others’ expectations. I hear voices in my head of people who could hypothetically be judging everything from my life choices to my writing style to the way I present myself online to the way I am somehow lesser than those who are more successful. It’s no exaggeration that my brain is full of negative harsh evaluations that I find it nearly impossible to find anything good most days.
Sitting down to think about what actually makes me happiest is something I sadly have not done in a long time. I realize I haven’t fully thought about it and can’t remember the last time I did — I must’ve been five years old. And I honestly need to reconnect with the happy child I used to be and find a way to view life with more wonder, joy, and peace again.
I know deep down that I don’t need a whole lot to be happy. Sure I need challenges…
