A Voice for Cindy
How God turns the tragic loss of a baby into salvation for a family
I want to share a family story with you
It’s about heartbreaking loss; but it’s also about miracles, forgiveness, and grace. It is a true story, seen through the eyes of an eleven-year-old girl.
The year is 1965; a time when most neighborhoods were peaceful and safe. There was not much traffic and children walked almost everywhere they went. People left their doors unlocked. Neighbors looked out for each other and their children.
Living on Bexley Street in North Charleston, South Carolina was a family of five. A dad, a mom, and three girls; ages fourteen, eleven and three.
So, imagine for a minute, you are the eleven-year-old. Your stepfather is “Daddy” to you and your older sister and has loved you like his very own ever since you were five years old.
Your three-year-old sister is gentle and precious with brown eyes and brown curly hair
You share a bedroom with her and play with her every day. She is your stepfather’s only biological child.
One day, you are playing with your next-door neighbor. Your baby sister is several houses down in the back yard with her little friend. You hear the sound of tires screeching. It’s on down the road so you don’t pay much attention.
After a while, you notice neighbors coming out of their houses going toward where you heard the tires. You sense something bad has happened and race down the street with your friend. A crowd has gathered; they are looking at something in the road. You squeeze through the adults so you can see too.
Suddenly, your happy, carefree world stands still.
Your heart nearly stops when you realize your sister is lying in the road. She is bleeding and motionless. Her little shoes have come off her feet. Her white lace socks are the last thing you see before a neighbor pulls you away.
There is a knowing in your heart that your sister has died
Your friend’s mother sits with you on your couch holding you as you cry and cry. She won’t tell you the truth about your sister even though you continually ask her. She is waiting for your mother to get home. Your mama finally walks in the door and collapses as someone tells her that her baby has died.
The fear is tremendous as your eleven-year-old mind tries to cope with the complete breakdown of her mother and the death of her sister.
The grief multiplies as your strong and steady stepfather, cries heart-wrenching tears over losing his little daughter. Seeing your dad like this is very, scary for such a young girl.
Imagine going to your sister’s funeral and your uncle tells you not to cry because you need to stay strong for your daddy
But every time you look in the casket at your sister in her pale yellow dress, all you can think is, “I don’t understand; she looks like she is sleeping; she needs her favorite baby doll before they close the lid of the casket.”
The tears well up until you feel you will burst but then you see your daddy looking at you, and you force a smile instead. You must stay strong like your uncle told you to… for your daddy.
It’s after the funeral, and everyone has left. Your house is a sad place to be. No one explains about death to you because you were not raised in a church, you don’t know much about God.
Your mother is sleeping a lot because of pills the doctor gave her. Your daddy can’t comfort you because he is in so much pain himself
That night, you finally fall asleep but are jolted awake by loud crying in the living room. You listen at the door. A woman is begging your daddy to forgive her. It dawns on you that this woman was the one driving the car that killed your sister.
You can’t believe what you hear!
Your daddy is consoling the woman and telling her it was not her fault.
He is offering words of compassion and forgiveness to her.
Just take yourself to this place for a moment; you and your family going through all of this … without God. That family was my family. I was the eleven-year-old. The little girl, who died, was my sister, Cindy. She was only three.
I’ve told you about the tragedy — now for the miracle.
My dad was not a Christian, but he remembered his mother’s teaching about God from his childhood and knew this was where he needed to start. He sought God for answers with a heart that was broken and torn.
One evening, he stood in the middle of the living room and yelled, “God I can’t take this pain anymore!”
“Help me!”
Immediately, God heard Dad’s cries and gave him “peace that passes all understanding.” For the first time in days, he was able to sleep.
I asked Dad about his experience with the Lord during that time and here is what he said,
“Nancy, I can remember like it was yesterday. It was about a week after Cindy’s death and I still had not accepted Christ. I didn’t know how. The emotional pain was excruciating! So much I couldn’t sleep, and my chest hurt from a heartache I can’t describe. In the middle of that pain, I leaped up from my chair and cried out to God for help! Suddenly, I began to feel something like warm oil being poured over my head. It slowly covered me like a warm blanket of peace. I looked up to heaven and said, “So this is what it feels like when you experience God’s forgiveness and love!’”
About a week later, a minister from North Charleston Methodist Church saw the article in the newspaper about Cindy’s death. He came to see our family and brought God’s message of hope and eternal life. Because of Pastor Tom Evatt’s council, my dad confirmed his acceptance of Christ. My mom accepted shortly after, then me, and following, was my older sister Linda.
Little did I know that we would need God to help us bear what was ahead.
My parents wanted another child so badly. Months went by and during that time my mom had three miscarriages. She finally became pregnant and was able to carry the baby to term.
When baby Donna was born, the cord was wrapped around her neck. She had died minutes before delivery
Many years later, my sister, Linda faced the death of her thirteen-year-old son, Kevin. Now my dear sister had lost a child and my mother had lost her little grandson.
But there was a huge difference in the way they coped with death…they now had God
Mom told me during that time she went down to a dock near my Grandmother’s house. She talked to Jesus trying to understand why this was all happening again. Why was she losing her grandson? She knew that once we belonged to God, there was no turning back.
Mama said she cried out to the Lord trying hard to figure it all out. She finally gave it to Him and said,
“God you are still God and I will always believe in you and trust you even if I never receive the answers in this life.”
Suddenly, a wave of peace covered her, and she had the incredible sensation that God was holding her. She was then filled with faith and strength to hold Linda up in her time of greatest need.
One night, when the grief of missing Kevin was especially strong, the Lord gave Linda a glimpse of her precious Kevin in a dream. This is what she shared…
“I dreamed I was standing on a bridge over a wide river. The sky was deep blue with pure white clouds. The river sparkled with diamonds as did the light in the air. I saw someone rowing a boat in the middle of the river. As the person passed me, I saw it was Kevin! My Kevin, in a red shirt with muscled arms. He was big and whole and well. He did not look at me but I knew he was in Heaven rowing down some sparkling heavenly river. I knew God had given me a glimpse, just a peek, of what Kevin was doing at that moment. It was one of the most comforting things that ever happened to me and I knew he was truly home. I knew at that moment that earth is not our home but a learning place. Heaven is our true home to all of us who love God and answer His call.”
I have poured out my heart in this testimony because God has shown what He did for my family, He wants to do for you
He showed me that I must share and be a voice for Cindy. It would be tragic if one day a person who has come across my path stands before the Lord facing eternity and says, “No one told me.”
Someone is telling you now because it is not by chance or coincidence that you are reading this testimony.
No matter what has happened in your life, no matter how much good or bad you have done, no matter how deep the sorrow; God loves you and grieves with you. Be comforted in His promise that you will find Him when you seek Him with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:13
Jesus is faithful. He will fill you with peace and joy like He did my dad when the Holy Spirit flowed over him like warm oil; or my mom when she had lost so much and pledged her love to God even if she never received the answers in this life.
Living through these tragedies was the hardest thing I have ever faced in my life
Walking in the faith of Jesus does not promise we will never suffer, but it does promise that suffering will not have the final word.
…Epilogue…
There is a wonderful ending to my family story. In God’s own timing, He answered my parent’s prayers for another child.
My sister Kellie was born; gentle and precious with brown eyes and brown curly hair
She brought me and my family much joy and laughter. Well, I mean, until she turned thirteen; but then, that’s a whole other story.
“A Voice for Cindy” may also be found in a beautiful YouTube Slide presentation at this link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n97G00TqHKI
This story is published in Koinonia — stories by Christians to encourage, entertain, and empower you in your faith, food, fitness, family and fun.
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