Coping With the Imperfect Parent

Hope for healing through adoption

Jenny Calvert


Photo by Fallon Michael on Unsplash

Consider the incredible love that the Father has shown us in allowing us to be called “children of God” — and that is not just what we are called, but what we are. Our heredity on the Godward side is no mere figure of speech — which explains why the world will no more recognize us than it recognized Christ.

(1 John 3:1, PHILLIPS)

Were your parents perfect?

I had terrific parents. They provided, loved, and cared for me and my siblings. I was considerably blessed. However, the older I became, the more I became aware of the disturbing commonality of the sad plight of children with terrible parents.

Many people have been deserted, neglected, and abused mentally, physically, and sexually by the hands of their parents. Many have never heard the words “I love you” or “I’m proud of you.”

I want those in this situation to know they are not alone and help is available. Your earthly parents are accountable for their actions, and you are not at fault.

There are many hurting people who desperately need the perfect parent that they never had. If peace is something you need, then consider adoption.

God destined us to be his adopted children through Jesus Christ because of his love. This was according to his goodwill and plan and to honor his glorious grace that he has given to us freely through the Son whom he loves. (Ephesians 1:5–6, CEB)

Attributes of a perfect parent:

  • He will never force Himself upon you as He patiently waits.
  • His Spirit of mercy loves you unconditionally with no strings attached. He does not expect anything from you; he merely desires kinship.
  • This Father will nurture, guide, strengthen, protect, and care for you.
  • He will never leave nor forsake you.
  • He will speak words of encouragement.

His sweet words are like a healing salve to your wounded soul.

His words will be like:

  • I created you in my image. You are beautiful.
  • I love you as no other can or ever will.
  • I desire the best for you.
  • Please come to me with all your secrets, longings, hurts, and dreams.
  • You are my sweet child, and I enjoy your company as you speak to me or sit quietly by my side.
  • You have been crippled for so long by your imperfect earthly parents, but I will give you the strength to be able to stand and move forward.
  • Let me quench the dryness of your soul with my life-giving water.
  • I will bring light to the darkness of your soul.
  • In my presence, you will never be afraid again.

I present the flawless one, God the Father, through His Son, Jesus. His offer has no price tag attached because His sacrifice fully pays for our adoption.

I chose to be adopted by Him. He has given me sweet peace and forgiveness for any who harmed me. He can do the same for you.

Come to Him because He is nothing like your imperfect earthly parents, teachers, friends, priests, or pastors. He will not threaten, coerce, or manipulate, but is kind, patient, gracious, merciful, and forgiving.

But you, my Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy; you are very patient and full of faithful love. (Psalms 86:15, CEB)

There is one perfect, trustworthy parent of love. He fully embraces us as His adopted children. He is the flawless Papa who wipes away our tears and forgives us for our shortcomings.

My parents were wonderful, yet I maintain that there are no earthly parents compared to the God of mercy.



Jenny Calvert

The Lord is good to me and has helped me. I want to share what He can do for others as He has done for me and to see the light that is there inside them.