Ghosting Hurts, but It’s Not About You
Coping when someone disappears from your life
We’ve probably all been ghosted
Ghosting is quietly and abruptly disappearing from someone’s life, essentially becoming invisible. The person doing the ghosting simply stops communicating with no explanation, leaving the person being ghosted to wonder what happened. When we’ve been ghosted, we feel rejected — and it hurts.
We typically hear about ghosting in the context of romantic relationships, but it happens with platonic and even business relationships, too. Years ago, I was ghosted by a close friend before it was called ghosting — and it hurt. Even though my life bordered on train wreck at the time, our friendship had endured plenty of “stuff” over the years, and I thought it was strong enough to survive any drama.
That was three decades ago, and I still wonder what I did to make her stop returning my calls or responding to my letters (in the dark ages before email and social media).
A few years after she broke off contact, I discussed it with another friend, who offered this perspective: “You probably didn’t do anything. Maybe she had something going on in her life that she was ashamed of and didn’t want you to know about.”
