God found me almost two years ago
I was on the floor of my cell in Taylor County jail. I was crying out to Him to please help me, to please take away some of the shame and the guilt I was having to come face to face with. I had nothing to numb myself anymore. Then I remember I stopped crying out because I thought, why would God listen to someone who had done so much to destroy the life that He gave me? I honestly didn’t know.
I was so broken at that moment that I never thought I would get all the pieces back together.
Later on that same day
I received a book called ‘God Will Carry You Through’ by Max Lucado and I began reading it. I got to a chapter that talked about how God chose me, He adopted me, and He has loved me since before the beginning of time.
I had to read it again just to make sure that I had read it correctly.
I read that chapter again
I felt as though God was talking to me. He was telling me that no matter where I am or what I’ve done, He is with me. He was telling me how precious I was and that there was nothing in this world that could make Him stop loving me. I had run from Him for so long that I never thought I’d find Him again. As I came to find out I didn’t need to find Him because He knew where I was all along. He was simply waiting for the moment when I was finally ready to be found again.
I know now, His timing is perfect.
My life has been drastically different since that day
I could not be more amazed when I look back and see all of the things He did in order to get me to where I am today. I have been asked this question many times.
“If you could change one moment in your life what would it be?”
My answer today is, not one thing. Not one minute, not one second, because if I did I wouldn’t be where I am today. God has used all of the hurt, pain, disappointment, shame, guilt, sorrow, and loneliness and turned it into my amazing journey which I have only just begun.
He has given me a chance at a life that would never have been possible without Him.
He has given me a testimony to share
I plan to share my testimony inside and outside of prisons. All I want is for people to see Jesus in me in all that I do. I know that not every day is going to be wonderful, but so long as I trust in God with all of my heart and all of my soul, then absolutely ANYTHING is possible.
God, thank you for finding me and showing me my worth in You. Thank you for allowing me to walk in the darkness, holding Your hand, so that I am able to truly appreciate the light. I pray every single day that You continue to hold my hand as we walk this journey together. Thank you for all that You do, not only in my life but in the lives of those around me. And thank you for giving me the words to write so that others might read them and see You. Amen.
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