Ed Elliott
Jul 9 · 5 min read

When we hate ourselves we stand in total disagreement with God
Sadly, today I meet many believers who hate themselves for several reasons: moral failure, missed opportunities, regret, bitterness, anger, and unforgiveness; the list is endless.

It really doesn’t matter why a person hates himself; the truth is, it is probably the most unhealthy thing you could ever participate in. The repercussions of this self-loathing not only impact negatively on a person’s health, but in all those he/she comes into contact with: family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers.

Perhaps, the biggest impact is spiritual in nature and disconnects your relationship with God. Why?

When we choose to hate ourselves we stand in total disagreement with God.

We hate what He loves, believe a lie, and call God a liar as well.

Often, this type of thinking has its roots in religious thought when people believe God’s acceptance is based on their performances. Since they feel like failures, they think God sees them that way as well.

These negative emotions end up growing into obsessions resulting in self-hate. Their poor sense of self-worth will inevitably sabotage any success they begin to have in life because they feel they don’t deserve it.

Until that cycle of thinking is broken, the string of failures, negative behaviors, missed opportunities and failed relationships will never end.

The book of Proverbs gives us insight into the human condition

Proverbs is an amazing book to study because it reveals so much about the human condition with and without God. It gives us tremendous insight into our hearts and how they function, as well as the impact they have on the condition and future of our lives.

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7, KJV).

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23, KJV).

The Heart is the Key

Jesus understood the importance of the heart. He pointed out that what defiles people isn’t what they eat, but what they think and meditate on. That’s what they release from their mouths.

“And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man” (Matthew 15:10–11, KJV).

We shape the world we live in by our words. That might sound like a sobering thought but according to God’s Word, it is true.

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh” (Luke 6:45).

You can’t hide what your heart is full of

Those things we fill our hearts with, in abundance, will cause us to declare them, positive or negative. In fact, whatever your heart is full of cannot be hidden. Eventually, all of it will be exposed through your speech one way or another.

I have counseled hundreds of people in my life. I learned from a wise old minister to listen carefully to what people say, so you can locate them spiritually. What he meant was people will tell you what they believe if you allow them to talk and unburden themselves. What fills their hearts will also fill their mouths.

If how you see yourself is inconsistent with how God sees you, you will never know true freedom

When I hear believers or unbelievers say how much they hate themselves, I know I am dealing with people whose hearts are full of anger, regret and unforgiveness for themselves. Their view of who they are is inconsistent with how God sees them. This vicious self-destructive cycle can only be broken by changing what people believe in their hearts. This is why Jesus told His disciples that those who “know” the truth will be set free.

When people know the truth, they experience true freedom.

Free people love what God does.

Why? Because their hearts are in sync with their Creator/Heavenly Father’s. Consequently, this union reveals to their hearts the value God has for them. Understanding their value changes the way they see themselves and others. This freedom impacts their emotions and overall outlook.

You will never ever be the same again

God isn’t an adversary or an enemy but a friend, a good Father whose love and forgiveness is unconditional. This knowledge/faith brings about a miraculous transformation that Paul wrote about in Romans 12: 1–2. He said as we renew our minds to know God’s mercy for us, we will know and experience the will of God which is good, acceptable, and perfect. This process will transform us.

People who have low self-worth and hate themselves have never submitted to this process. Knowing the mercies of God is simply diving into God’s heart.

Once you swim around and explore His heart, you discover how much He loves and values you.

You will never ever be the same again. When we connect to God’s heart by faith, His heart changes our hearts, and that is where true transformation takes place.

Deception of religion

Religion may teach you to count your sins against you. Others may count your sins against you. But isn’t it good news that God doesn’t count or hold your sins against you.

The greatest act of obedience and submission people will ever make in their lives is to simply agree with God.

It will literally change everything for you.

“To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:19, KJV).

“For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more” (Hebrews 8:12, KJV).

“He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities” (Psalm 103:10, KJV).

Have Spiritual Coffee with me
If you enjoy these biblical insights to God’s love for you, I send out a free daily email from Monday to Friday called “Spiritual Coffee”. It is a brief encouraging and uplifting word, to help you start your day off by connecting to Gods love for you. If you would like to receive this free email just click HERE and subscribe.

This story is published in Koinonia — stories by Christians to encourage, entertain, and empower you in your faith, food, fitness, family and fun.

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Stories by Christian writers to encourage, entertain, and empower you in your faith, food, fitness, family, friendship, and fun.

Ed Elliott

Written by

author, conference speaker itinerate/missionary who travels the world sharing truths about God’s love. Helping people experience God’s love personally.



Stories by Christian writers to encourage, entertain, and empower you in your faith, food, fitness, family, friendship, and fun.

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