Scripture Prompt
The Paradox of Waiting
When a delay seems like a denial
For the vision awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. (Habakkuk 2:3 NIV)
“The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.” — Niels Bohr
Facing tension with intention
The bolded portion of the above verse initially puzzled me. How can something linger, yet not delay?
But that’s the glory of paradoxes. They force you to sit in the tension between two opposing truths.
When we release ourselves of any responsibility, any obligation we feel to resolve that tension, and through trust, let the tension resolve us, that is when we experience true growth.
See, I’ve come to love this verse. I love it because the paradoxical statement acknowledges my experience at a single point in time while remaining true to its reality of life beyond right now. It does not insult my intelligence about how time and life work, while calling me to a higher understanding of both.
Yes, the promises of God seem to be dragging their feet, but when it comes to pass, you will know, and you will understand that it was never late.
An old church cliché applies perfectly here: God may not come when you want Him, but He’s always on time.
I’ve experienced this truth time and time again, but here’s one example that is particularly close to my heart.
My battle with waiting
Having a family is something I wanted from a very young age.
I am still determining what came first, the desire for a family of my own or the motivation for that desire. While my upbringing wasn’t highly traumatic, it was dysfunctional enough for me to yearn for the time I could build a family according to how I felt it should be.
I didn’t know a lot about relationships, love, and sex at that age, but I just knew there had to be a better way to treat the people you say you love.
So when I became a teenager of dating age, I dated with a purpose. I wasn’t just looking for someone to have fun with. I was looking for someone to spend my life with. I wanted to get down to the business of building the kind of family I wanted but thought I never had.
Needless to say, while my intentions and desire were good, they were out of step with my personal maturity level at that time. There was a lot I needed to learn about people, about myself, and about life in general.
And so with every relationship, every encounter, whether I knew it or not, whether I liked it or not, I learned. I learned what my preferences were, my wounds and vulnerabilities, my strengths, and my values. My own value.
I also learned what I truly needed and what I could realistically expect from people, especially my partner.
Even though all this learning was taking place in the background, I was actively becoming impatient and desperate with each failed relationship. I was hurt, and I hurt people. I made countless mistakes. Sometimes I jumped the gun, and other times I was unreasonable. I went through moments where I didn’t feel seen; Other moments, I felt taken advantage of and irrelevant.
I was growing tired of it all. In the back of my mind, I still believed my vision of a family of my own would come to pass, but it was becoming increasingly clear that it was out of my control.
After my last failed encounter, I prayed. Not that I wasn’t praying before then, but this time it was different.
It was a prayer of release, of surrender.
A prayer of trust.
I told God that I was done picking. I was done trying to do it my way. From that point forward, I was going to let Him do the picking and focus on the work He called me to do.
A burden was lifted from my shoulders. I was no longer anxious about finding the perfect partner. I was at peace. I was content with my life in a way I had never been before. I was happy to do the will of God whether I had a family or not. I felt whole and fulfilled.
Soon after that prayer of trust, I was blessed to reconnect with an old friend. As we talked and caught up on our lives since college, I began to pick up on things, clues that gave me the sense that she was back in my life for the rest of my life.
And that wasn’t only happening for me. Who I was also spoke to her in ways that she could not have articulated to God in prayer. Our mutual interest was undeniable.
Five years, a kid, and a house later, I can now see why something that seemed delayed had always been on time.
An invitation
I don’t know what you’re waiting for. I don’t have any clue how long you’ve waited. I can only imagine what you’ve suffered along the way.
But I invite you to sit in the tension. I invite you to release any impulse to make sense of it all and simply trust.
Trust that God loves you.
Trust that He knows the appointed time.
Trust that the path you’re on is exactly where you need to be. Because God is willing to travel any path to get to you.
Though the time seems long, in time, you will understand. So in the meantime, trust.
