Work Drama Taught Me How to Pray
… and I have been praying since
I recently moved to a new department in the biggest TV network in our country. I have been working for big corporations for 10 years now. Keeping my head down, working my way up slowly… but my growth is steady. I take pride in my work and I learned that we do not have to please everyone, but I always make sure that I am on the “right” side to make the right call.
It was early last year when my division was assigned a new head… a new boss. And that’s when I started to experience hell. At that time, I was in the new division for just a few months. No, he did not yell at me or cuss at me, nor hurled a shoe or stapler to my face, like other horror stories we hear from other people about their work. This guy had a gentle face, he would often smile, speak softly, and, being a graduate of Princeton, everyone adored him.
The first time I met him, he asked about my previous projects in the company. He commended me for the success of the new businesses I brought in before transferring to the department where we were both in at that time. He said I could be a good addition to the team. We were off to a good start… or so I thought.
After his first month, he assigned me to a new project. I took it on thinking he needed help in that area, even though it wasn’t my specialty. I accepted the challenge, like a real trooper! Before we ended the meeting, he made a comment that thinking about it now, he was actually belittling this new job he assigned to me.
The weeks passed, I worked on my new assignments as I would normally do my day-to-day job. I was cheerful, I was meeting a lot of new people and making new friends along the way. I was hitting my targets, I was on the right track. I thought I was doing a good job, as I have always been.
Whenever we do our weekly reporting, he would look at my PowerPoint presentations though, like it was some sort of enigma. Hmm… “Maybe we have different reporting styles,” I said to myself. I was hitting my goals, but he didn’t seem very happy.
He doesn’t have to be happy, right? Maybe he was just one of those emotionless, stoic type of bosses. My numbers will speak for themselves. We carried on for weeks… but he was never happy about me or about my work. What the heck!
This started giving me anxiety. What was I doing wrong? What am I saying wrong? Am I not doing my work right? Despite good feedback from others, he was never pleased with me. He never said anything bad, but his words made me feel small.
I started hating my job. I woke up every morning fearing my meetings with him. I wasn’t sleeping well either. I would replay our conversations in my head and I would plot out the next day like chess moves in a Chess Olympiad. (I am not a chess player, by the way, but I recently saw The Queen’s Gambit on Netflix, and it is such a good series!). I developed ulcers too, I think. The bottom line: I was so stressed out.
Someone suggested that I needed to pray. My friend said to talk to God and seek His help.
I knew how to pray. I was brought up in a Catholic environment and my friends are born-again Christians, but I was never religious or spiritual. I thought there was no harm in trying … so one night before sleeping, I shut my window blinds, went to a quiet spot, closed my eyes, and prayed.
I was like a kid talking to her dad on the phone when I was praying to God. I was telling Him what was happening at work, how helpless I was feeling, and how I needed His help. I started bawling and crying my eyes out.
I woke up the next day feeling good. It felt like a 100lb. weight was lifted off my chest. I put on my make-up, wore my favorite blazer, went to work finally smiling that day … but as soon as I stepped into the office, the same cycle began. My boss still hated me.
Was it an unanswered prayer? Didn’t God hear me?
My days did not change. I was not assigned to a new task. My boss would still look at me like I was the weakest link in a game show. But what I did differently was, I started praying every night. I would be drained throughout the day, but every night I would be refreshed talking to God.
I stopped focusing on how to please my boss, but started directing my actions toward God. HE is the real boss, after all. I stopped caring about what my boss would think of me, as long as I knew in my heart I was doing my job and doing the right thing.
I will be honest. My situation in my workplace did NOT change, but I had peace. I felt like every day God was covering me and that He literally placed an armor of protection around me. I was taking my day one step at a time. Asking God to lead my every thought, every word, and every action.
One day, it felt like it was the end of the line for me in that company. I printed my resignation letter and just as I was about to hand it over to my boss, he stepped out to go to a full-day seminar.
Pfft, what perfect timing, I thought. It was hard enough for me to print that letter, now I had to wait one more day to actually give it to him. I was nervous! I stepped out to take a little breather and I bumped into my former HR (from my previous department).
We exchanged hellos and she asked how I was. I told her I was about to resign. She was in a hurry but yelled “Come see me in my office first!” as she walked away.
During my lunch break, I went to see her. I gave her blow-by-blow of events. I told her everything I was feeling and that with a heavy heart I thought it was time for me to go.
I was surprised at her reaction, and she explained how my boss was actually wrong in a lot of instances. THIS, coming from our company HR! I could not believe what I was hearing. She also encouraged me not to resign, but to be placed in a new department. She actually told me that she knew me and knew how good I am at my job … and that what was happening to me was just unfortunate. Her statement meant so much to me. I felt I was at my lowest, and hearing her say those words gave me the validation that I needed.
I couldn’t even begin to tell you how relieved I was then. I wasn’t going to quit my job! Hooray!
So the process of moving to another division started late last year. I heard that this boss even tried to make it hard for me to transfer. What did I ever do to that guy, right?
In September of 2019, I was transferred to a new department with a new team. It was for a special project and positions only opened up that day, I bumped into my former HR. I felt that the meeting was orchestrated by God. Had my boss not stepped out to go to the seminar at that exact time … had I been a minute or two late in deciding to take a short walk, I wouldn’t have crossed paths with my colleague.
I remember reading in an article once, it said, “There is no such thing as coincidence with God. God’s timing is always perfect.”
God did not instantly answer my prayers. He told me to wait and to bear with my tough situation but made me feel He was with me. He wanted me to reach out to Him every night because He wanted us to be closer.
I couldn’t be happier where I am now. The culture is very different, and the atmosphere is more pleasant. Each task is everyone’s work. Everyone's suggestions and inputs are valued. We all help each other out. There are challenges, but we face them as a team. I love where I am, and I love what I do.
… And this is why I now believe in PRAYER. I now understand what it means when they say to TRUST God’s perfect timing.
Before I end this, I would like to leave you with this verse …
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28, NIV)
So no matter what situation you are in now, how hopeless you think things may be… always remember God is actually listening.
