“That’s not right. That’s not even wrong.” ~ Wolfgang Pauli
It’s one thing to have to choose between right and wrong. But what about when you are faced with two right options to choose from? This may seem like a nice problem to have, but it can be one of our greatest challenges. When there is no wrong answer, we can doubt whether we did the right thing and end up regretting either choice. It can all sound so easy conceptually, but when it is a real-life decision involving your life, the stakes seem high and it’s not simple.
We seem to be co-creators — this attitude can take the pressure off us.
Have faith in life either way. Detours are sometimes part of the path. If you make a so-called wrong turn, is it the end of the world? And was it the wrong turn? It seems there is wisdom larger than us at play that is helping us get meaning from all our experiences.
Don’t trap yourself into battling between two options.
Optional thinking is a problem in the first place. It gives us stress — the feeling of having to choose one door out of two implies there is a prize behind only one. This gives us a fear of loss.
Try forgetting about the two options, and go back to the beginning by asking yourself what it is you want. Feel for the answer, and hear for your thoughts. Marry feelings with thought to find a balanced, but honest answer. Try not to play the two options off against each other. This creates internal conflict. Choosing between two paths makes you feel like you are rejecting one and accepting another. Realizing that you have a choiceless decision or adding more choices can make it less of a battle.
Give yourself time.
If you’re feeling under pressure to decide, then ask if you have the option of doing nothing for a while? This way the pressure will subside, and you can naturally discover which path is your right path. Sometimes we need to let things cool off to stumble upon clarity.
Reflect on what is.
We like to think we can imagine the future, but have we considered our current reality?
Let’s say we are choosing between two career paths — teaching young children, and becoming a musician. It’s easy to make up the future and to imagine how wonderful it would be to teach children. But when you are with children, what is your experience? Do you feel happy? Do you feel in flow?
You may love the idea of music, but what is your experience when you are playing your music? Do you feel like it is where you belong in the moment of doing it? Does it make you feel like you are expressing your essence?
Look for authentic feelings and don’t be fooled by mere intensity. See if you are authentically enjoying the process and finding your expression in it. Long term decisions are about the process and not only the excitement of the results.
Clear your mind and ask for intuitive guidance.
Once you have received the clarity of intuitive guidance you know what it means to know. It’s important to cultivate intuition by practicing opening yourself up to it so that it is easier for you to recognize it when you need it.
Meditating can quieten your choice anxiety, so you can feel intuitive guidance without noisy thoughts. Guidance can come in the form of dreams, hunches, thoughts, synchronicities, feelings, etc. It is the quality of guidance that gives it away — it’s when you sense a message that is subtle but crystal clear. It may be a soft, but unmistakable whisper. Relaxing quiet environments can help you clear your head so you can hear the whisper.
When something is not meant for us, we usually feel the warning to pull away from it.
And then we often don’t pull away from it out of curiosity! This leads to regret later and then we say, “I just knew that wasn’t right for me, but I couldn’t put my finger on it”. You do not always have to justify your reasons for doing things. Some right things, are just not right for you, and you will feel that, but there is nothing specifically wrong with them. If you think of regrets you have in life and go back to think of the signs, you may find they were there.
Be honest with what you want to do. It takes courage to have integrity, and integrity’s prize is not being a prisoner of what others think of you.
If you feel like you will be forever trapped by one option then you are likely going to make a decision based on fear. Try to be honest with yourself, and embrace your freedom. No matter what restrictions you may feel society, others or your situation puts on you — your decisions belong to you.
If there is one thing we’re certain about when it comes to self-development, it is your right to change your mind.
We are accustomed to thinking that once we decide it’s signed, sealed, and delivered. But if one way does not work out for us, we can adjust and make changes. When we label change as a failure, we struggle to embrace our freedom. When we feel free, things can flow to work out either way, no matter what we choose. We’re not saying don’t be serious about your decisions. Be serious. But do not be trapped.
Relax, breathe, and be grateful you have two rights to choose from. Gratitude will bring you the good energy you need to guide you along. As long as your decisions are not dangerous or harmful to yourself or others you should be okay. Make a decision and go with it. Sometimes you only know when you are in it.
“Life is the dancer and you are the dance.” ~ Eckhart Tolle