Research says that we spend 30% to 50% of our “awake” time talking with ourselves inside our minds. That’s 8 hours per day on an average. 8 hours! Do you ever wonder what you tell yourself during these 8 hours?
But, what’s self-talk?
Let’s take the example of software. A poorly programmed code creates problems. There will be bugs, code will break at unexpected places and our overall confidence about the application will be low! This is exactly what happens to us when we can’t predict our emotions and control our actions.
Self-talk is a predictor of our “mental software” at any point of time.
Now, take a moment, and observe how you are talking to yourself. What are you telling yourself?
“I will fail”
“this will never work”
“there is no point in doing this”
Or do you say
“I can do this”
“Life is good”
“I can do better”
Now, observe what emotions you are going through right now. Can you co-relate your emotions with your self-talk?
HOW TO CONTROL OUR SELF-TALK ?
- MEASURE — Tracking our self-talk is critical to awareness and emotional control. This tool identifies what’s our predominant self-talk pattern is at any point of time.
- TALK TO YOURSELF — A big part of having constructive self-talk is the questions we ask of ourselves. By asking the right questions of ourselves, especially questions that could change the way we look at a problem, we can reframe our most difficult self-talk to constructive self-talk.
- BUILD A SMALL RITUAL — Now, once you are through the above two steps, you realise how your self-talk is affecting you and why. Now, you can build and practice small routines where you can challenge your specific negative self-talk.
Self-talk is the story you tell yourself.
The story you tell yourself defines the person you become.
Reframe your stories, reframe yourself.
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