The toughest part of “being grateful”
The different dimensions of mental well-being
One of the common solutions to mental well-being today is the “gratefulness practice”, along with meditation, mindfulness and the like.
The “gratefulness practice” attacks one of the principal ways human minds operate. It questions the “taking for granted” attitude we have towards a lot of positive things that we enjoy in life. A lack of acknowledgement for all things positive is one of the main reasons for our stress and troubles.
We can be happier when we count all the things we have in a world that reminds us of all the things we don’t have!
There’s a problem with that assumption though. Many things that we have, that we should be grateful for — also feel essential for our day to day life. We take them for granted because we see them as part of ourselves. They are part of our identity.
So the practice of gratitude makes me aware that these “goodies” that are part of my identity, can be taken away from me, any moment! Like if I try to be grateful that I have a leg, more than being grateful I am suddenly aware that I could lose my leg. In a way, many things that are part of my identity — my body, my intellectual capabilities, my house, my relationships, etc. — could all be taken away from me, in an instant. That realisation is scary.
The ability to meditate deeply on what our “true identity” is — stripped of all things that can be taken away from us, is key to practicing gratitude
Being grateful can be helpful to my well-being only if I can swallow this “naked truth” about my identity. Otherwise, it just makes me more anxious.
This is why gratefulness practice is difficult for beginners. Rather than inducing positivity, it generates fear of losing all things we think is essential to our lives.
Only those who proceed to question this “essentiality” and digest the “uncomfortable truth” about one’s identity, can start practising gratefulness and derive the benefits.
Without focusing on this aspect of gratefulness, by sharing the practice as a “feel good quickly” hack, we are doing a huge disfavour to millions who could become happier by practising gratitude.
Harish is an entrepreneur building Konvos to help affect our emotion, feeling and psychology
